head pops up from the side. His snout rests on the edge of the pool, staring at me with those big reptilian eyes as he waits for me to say something else. “I love her so much, Happy. It’s tearing me apart what I did. When I look at my hands, all I see is her blood. Even though it never got near me, I made her bleed. Therefore, her blood is on my hands.” I toss another scoop of dirt to the side and stare at the small hole I’ve managed to make.
I deserve to be out here thinking about what I’ve done, just like a child.
Happy hisses as he lifts himself over the edge of the pool and then walks over to me, wiggling his body across the ground. His talons sink into the sand, scraping along the hard surface rather than sinking into it. His tail swishes. His black, tan, and green coloring are stark against the red desert. He stops at my feet, purring as he rubs his reptilian skin against my leg.
“I love you too, Happy.” I bend down and scratch the top of his head. I don’t know how Seer found a gator so damn friendly toward me, but I’ll forever be thankful. Besides Daphne, he’s the only friend I have who seems to understand me.
I’m lucky, but I don’t know if that’s sad or not. I’m surrounded by a dozen men that claim to be my brothers, my friends, and I know they would risk their life for mine, but would it be for our code? The law we live by? Or because they are truly my friends?
I don’t know. I only know Daphne actually cares and Happy cares as much as a swamp kitty can.
“Go on. Go swim. I’ll be okay. I need to start digging,” I say to Happy, pointing to the kiddie pool. He brushes against me one last time and scurries over to the pool. It always surprises me how quick he can move. He isn’t full grown just yet, but he’s still fast. In the water, alligators can travel up to twenty miles an hour, but on land, around eleven miles per hour.
It doesn’t seem fast, but their bodies are so awkward, it’s impressive.
He slides into the pool and floats, spreading out his legs.
“Man, you live the life, you know that?” There’s a heat lamp next to the pool to make sure he stays warm, since this isn’t his ideal environment. I plan to fix that for him. In our house, he is going to have his own room, heated, but I’m sure he will hang out with us throughout the house. He’ll be able to go back and forth to the swamp I’m going to build him too. And eventually, I’ll get him some friends.
“At the rate you’re going, you aren’t going to get that hole dug until 2034. And that’s being generous.”
My foot lands on the shovel, and I grip the handle, tightening it to the point I think it’s about to break. “What the hell do you want, Slingshot?” I throw another scoop of dirt to the pile and begin working again.
“I brought you lunch. I used my gift card I got for Christmas and I got the family pack. There are fifty steak tacos in here. It’s going to be so good.”
“I’m busy.”
“A man has got to eat, you know,” Slingshot says, sitting on his ass on the pile of dirt I’ve made.
“You didn’t come out here to share your lunch. And besides, I doubt you—”
“I took my pill, damn it. Sit down, shut up, and eat the tacos or I’ll never offer them again.”
“No.” Slingshot is a good man, a bit naïve, and thinks tacos are god, but he doesn’t want to get caught up in the likes of me.
“Come on, Tongue. I have an update on Daphne.”
I never thought he’d play that card. I toss the shovel on the ground and take a seat next to him just as he…
“Are you kidding me?”
“I’m sorry. I just took the pill…” he slurps on his coke and kicks the ground with the tip of his foot, an innocent action by a very guilty man.
“You know, you better hope you don’t always smell like ass, or no girl is going to want to be with you.”
He shrugs. “As long as I have my tacos, I’ll be a happy man.”
I lift a disbelieving brow at him and watch as he digs through the simple white bag