again in the next instant and gave a shrug. Whatever. He didn’t care. He wasn’t interested, not even interested enough to ask her why she had done such a thing, and she couldn’t tell whether he was angry or relieved to learn that she hadn’t come here because of them. He closed the book without signing it and held it back out to her.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the feet of the woman behind her step forward in anticipation. Lee turned her head just enough, in warning, and the feet took a half step back again.
‘Please, Sam. You’re the only person I can ask. Look.’ And she quickly thumbed to the defaced page. She watched as his face changed at the sight of it and he took the book from her again. The desperation in the words was clear to see. This was no hoax, no childish prank. She knew he could see that too.
‘I’m going to have to ask you to move along, madam,’ an elf said to her, stepping forward from a sentry position behind Sam’s left shoulder. ‘We have to keep the queue moving.’
Lee looked from him to Sam again, beseeching him with her eyes.
‘Mama! I found this one!’
Jasper came careening over with a copy of a Star Wars jigsaw book in his hands. Sam slammed the book shut – hiding the message – as Jasper held up the new book to her expectantly. The fifth one. ‘Uh, okay yes, we can get that one too,’ she murmured, trying to hold her voice steady.
Jasper stared at Sam. ‘I know you,’ he said frankly.
‘No,’ Sam hesitated. ‘I don’t think we’ve met.’
‘I remember your eyes.’
Sam’s gaze slid towards her. ‘Oh. Well then, it must be my mistake. What’s your name?’ he asked quickly.
‘Jasper.’
‘Hi, Jasper. My name’s Sam.’
‘This is the Sam who wrote the book, Jazz,’ Lee said quietly, trying to gloss over to her child that coming here had been a mistake. Why should Sam have helped her out? He’d already granted her one favour, and that was clearly one too many. It was perfectly evident he regretted ever getting involved with her. ‘Remember we wanted to come here to get the sheep book signed?’
Jasper looked back at Sam earnestly. ‘I like the koala best.’
Sam smiled, his face lighting up. ‘Really? He’s my favourite too. Everyone else seems to like the squirrels.’
‘Did you sign our book? Mama said we could only read it when you put your writing in it.’
Sam’s mouth opened as he glanced across at her. ‘. . . Well, actually, I was just about to do that, but your copy has a tear in it,’ he said, sliding their copy fully out of reach and producing a new one from under the desk. They both knew there was no way they could let Jasper come across that message. ‘Shall I address it to you?’
Jasper nodded, not really understanding what that meant. He watched in silence as Sam’s hand flew across the page, Lee’s attention instead on the nape of his neck, the line of his jaw, the flop of his fallen-out curls . . . She’s all yours . . .
‘The koala.’ Jasper’s eyes lit up as Sam handed the book back and the child hugged it tightly.
‘Ssh, don’t tell anyone or I’ll have to do it for everyone,’ Sam whispered, putting a finger to his lips and winking at him.
‘Jasper, what do you say?’ Lee asked quietly, putting a hand on his shoulder. Sam’s kindness to her child didn’t mean coming here hadn’t been a massive mistake.
‘Thank you.’
‘It’s my pleasure, Jasper,’ Sam replied.
‘If you could allow the next person to come through now, please.’ The elf had stepped forward again. Lee’s time was well and truly up.
She nodded, Sam’s eyes meeting hers briefly. But his stare was cold and, when he made no attempt to comment further, she had no choice but to move on. She heard the woman behind her start babbling immediately, stepping into the space Lee had left almost before she’d vacated it. She glanced down the queue again. They were through the door now and out onto the street. His adoring fans.
‘Right . . . Well, we’d better pay for these,’ she said slowly as they moved off, trying to gather herself as her disappointment grew. She felt crushed by his refusal to help, devastated by his scorn.
‘And then we can go to Vondelpark?’
‘Sure.’ They walked over to the cash desk in the fairy-light grotto, Jasper running