Third Chances (Men Of Manhattan #2) - Ivy Smoak Page 0,102
have fun. We always have fun when we're together."
"No I don't! I can't just do whatever I want whenever I want. I need a life of structure and checklists and a set schedule every second or else I think about him!"
"Daphne." Alina's eyes were teary.
"I can't put myself in danger because I'm scared of hurting my parents like Derek hurt them." Even though I was dehydrated the tears had started falling down my cheeks again. "And even before he died, I was always worried about him. Always. I just wanted to believe he was better. I thought he was better."
Kristen got up and hugged me. I tried to push her off but she was stronger than me.
"It's my fault." I let myself relax into her.
"It's not your fault." I felt Alina's arms wrap around me too. "We were all together that night. We all thought he was okay."
We had been out celebrating before the start of our last semester of college. And Derek had been killing himself. I'd never know if he did it on purpose. I wanted to believe he wouldn't have. But no matter whether it was on purpose or not, it still felt like he left me. "He left me."
"It was an accident."
"You don't know that."
"He loved you, Daphne."
"Then why did he leave me?" I cried even harder.
No one had anything to say, because there was nothing to say. Kristen and Alina had been friends with Derek too, but it wasn't the same. They didn't understand how worried I had always been. They just didn't. I needed to talk to someone who understood. I needed to talk to Rob. But I hadn't even gotten his phone number. I was never going to see him again.
No. Rob wasn't dead. I could find him. I could apologize. Maybe he'd still want me. There was still a chance. I wanted him.
"I need to go to Newark," I said into Kristen's shoulder.
"What? Why?" Kristen asked.
"I need to find Rob."
"I don't know if you'll be able to catch any flights tonight. It takes awhile to get to the airport."
I wiggled out of Alina and Kristen's hug. "I need to go." I looked around for my suitcase.
"Daphne, calm down for one second," Alina said.
"I made a mistake. I pushed him away because I was upset about Derek. And there were a lot of red flags. Like, a lot of red flags. But I don't think any of that matters. I like the way he makes me feel. I really like him. And I shouldn't have pushed him away when he was trying to help. He was just trying to understand. I think maybe love is more about passion than patience. I think he was right. And I miss him. I don't even know him, but I'm upset that he's gone. I don't want to not see him."
"Rob?" Kristen asked.
"Yes, Rob."
Kristen laughed. "Okay, well take a deep breath. How about you just call him and tell him all that?"
"Because I don't have his number."
"Why didn't you ask for his number?"
"I was too busy telling him that we weren't a good fit and pushing him away from me."
"Such a romantic."
"Stop making fun of me." I felt like I wanted to start crying again.
"Oh my God. Daphne, really, you need to calm down. I've never seen you like this. You're acting crazy."
"I can't lose him. I don't want to lose him too."
"I can get his number for you," Layla said. She had been awkwardly standing to the side during our conversation. She had never gotten to meet Derek. She probably thought I was a maniac.
"Really?"
"Yeah, I just texted Mason asking for it. I don't think he can respond while they're flying, but I'm sure he'll text me back when they land. It's going to be okay."
I sighed with relief. "Oh good."
They all just stared at me.
I didn't know what to say. I wiped the tears off my cheeks. Rob would take my call. He had to. And if he didn't, maybe I could try and find him. I could leave the hotel in the morning and hopefully get a flight in the afternoon.
"You had sex with him, didn't you," Kristen said. There was no doubt in her tone.
How did she know? "I...it just kind of happened."
"What about all your rules?! I didn't think you could even do hand stuff until the fourth date?"
"I don't know, I just...I like him. None of that mattered with him. He made me feel like I was living again."