Third Chances (Men Of Manhattan #2) - Ivy Smoak Page 0,101

was easy to focus on that. Focusing on all the ways that we were different made it seem like I had made the right decision.

When Derek died, it was like a piece of me had disappeared. I felt cold all the time. My apartment was covered in blankets so that I could easily grab one whenever I felt a chill. But I hadn't felt cold all weekend. Rob had this warm presence. Just his smile made me feel overheated. That didn't mean he could fill the emptiness though. That didn't mean he could fix me. I wouldn't want to put him through that.

But he offered.

I shook my head. I had to do this on my own. Even though it felt like I needed someone to help me, I didn't. That was just me being weak. I had to learn to walk alone because I was alone. I kicked a pebble on the path. The problem was that being alone felt stifling. It was like suffocating on nothingness. Maybe I needed to go to therapy. Maybe I needed someone to talk to about everything. So maybe being alone was bad?

Ugh. I wrapped my arms around myself. I liked Rob because he was the opposite of me. He was charming and carefree and happy. I shook my head. He had said he wasn't happy. He had said he felt stuck. That was how I felt. Like I was stuck, and I didn't know how to move forward. I touched the bracelet that Derek had given me. I wanted to take it off and throw it. But I couldn't let go. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to be alone.

I wrapped my arms even tighter around myself. Rob hadn't said anything that would make me think he was a liar. So was he telling the truth when he said he wanted more? Was he really prepared to give up threesomes and one night stands? Did he actually want something serious? I knew that he said he did, but actions were different than words.

I was supposed to be thinking about what I wanted from life, but I couldn't get him out of my head. And the realization was dawning on me that I didn't want to. I wasn't going to stop thinking about him because he made me feel alive again. He made me feel whole. He made me feel like everything could be okay again.

I was so wrong earlier. I knew what I wanted. I wanted him. I started to run through the rainforest as fast as I could. Please don't let me be too late. Not again.

***

I banged on Rob's door.

No answer.

"Rob!" I banged on the door again. "Rob, it's Daphne!"

Still no answer.

I waited for another second before getting back onto the elevator. As soon as the doors dinged open, I ran down the hall and opened up the door to my room, completely out of breath. "What time is it?"

"Daphne?" Alina ran over to me and threw her arms around me. "I've been so worried. You've been gone for hours. Where the hell have you been?"

Hours? Shit. "What time is it?" I asked again.

"Almost 7 o'clock."

No. They were leaving around 5. "Do you know if Rob is still here?"

"I thought he was with you. He said he was going to talk to you..."

"Are any of them still here?" I pulled away from Alina's embrace and stared at Layla and Kristen.

Layla shook her head. "I'm pretty sure their jet was leaving at 5 o'clock."

I sat down on the edge of the bed and put my face in my hands. "I'm such an idiot." I was so scared of losing someone that I had willingly let someone go.

"Daphne?" Kristen put her arms around me. "Daphne, what happened?"

"I'm an idiot," I said again.

"Do I need to beat someone up for you? Want me to find James and sexually take advantage of him?"

I laughed. "No." If I had any tears left, I would have started crying. But I was probably dehydrated.

"Momma Bear, tell us what's wrong."

"That's what's wrong!" I pushed Kristen off of me. "I never take any risks. I'm pretty sure I've never not been the designated driver. I don't know how to have fun." I was pacing and I couldn't seem to stop.

Layla tried to hand me a water bottle, but I pushed it away.

"That's not true," Kristen said. "We call you that because you always take care of us. And you're always prepared. We love you for that. You know how to