being empathetic to other people’s humiliation.”
I decided to stop by Zay’s apartment today for some sibling commiseration. “You have a pituitary gland issue. That’s so much bigger than being embarrassed about wearing some tight pants on TV.”
I plop down on the couch next to him while he says, “I’m sensitive to cruel nicknames, and the whole country is calling that guy Dr. Banana Pants. I assure you, the man did not spend all that time at university to have his hard-earned title reduced to a joke.”
“Point taken,” I say, somewhat annoyed that my brother isn’t immediately taking my side. “But he’s the one who put them on and joined in the fashion show. He should have said something so that the whole fiasco never happened.”
“What happened to the real male model you hired? Did he ever turn up?” my brother asks.
“Yeah, he did. They put him in Ben’s dressing room but didn’t find out he wasn’t the astrophysicist from NASA until it was time to send him out. At that point Ben was already on set, strutting his stuff.”
“Well, it looks like it’s all turned out for the best if Wake Up America! wants you guys on every week. The question is, how are the two of you going to keep from tearing each other’s heads off?”
That is the question, especially if we can’t even have a civil meal together when there are no cameras around. Pulling the afghan off the back of Zay’s couch and wrapping it around my legs, I tell him, “I’m going to be lovely and delightful and stay on point. Ben can sink himself with his rude behavior for all I care.”
“I’m willing to bet the man isn’t half as bad as you portray him to be.” My brother, the traitor!
“And how did you come to that conclusion?”
“Look, Ser, you’re a flirt by nature. You flirt with men, women, dogs, pigeons in the park …” The nasty look I send his way has him hurrying to add, “It’s not a bad thing. In fact, according to you, it’s a Libra thing. I’m just saying that whenever someone doesn’t respond to your innate charm, or doesn’t like you, you get really mad.”
Ignoring a truth about myself I’d rather not address, I demand, “Who doesn’t like me?”
My brother rubs his eyes before staring at the ceiling. “Oh, I don’t know, there was that girl Tiffany Taylor from high school, and then there was that guy Stanford Wellington in college …”
He pauses for dramatic effect.
“Big whoop. Two idiots from my past didn’t like me,” I try to act like I’m not bothered by it, but I totally still am.
“You agonized about them both for years,” he reminds me. “In fact, I bet you’ve started up again after meeting Ben Williams.”
As if. The truth is, I’ve been so busy being mad at Ben that I haven’t even thought of the miscreants from my formative years — but I will now. Thanks so much, Zay. “You act like I’m some kind of egomaniac or something.” I can’t help my pouting tone.
Zay gets up and walks to his kitchen counter to pick up a box of gingersnaps, which he tosses in my direction. “All I’m saying is that you like to be liked. And as much as it pains me to tell you this, not all people are going to like you.”
“Why?” I hear the pathetic whine in my voice, and I hate it.
“Because not all people are smart enough to like you.” I know my brother is placating me, but that’s okay. As much as I enjoy people’s adoration, I’m also amenable to appeasement when needed to maintain my emotional balance.
“Enough about Ben,” I say. “I came by for a much more important reason. I was wondering if you could talk to Shelby about having her mother write an article for The Post about Charley.”
“Charley, your child prodigy employee?” he asks.
“Do you know of another Charley?” Before he can answer, I say, “She recently got accepted into Yale, at fifteen no less, and she made her national modeling debut on Wake Up America! I thought she might be an inspirational person to write about.”
He shrugs his shoulders. “I guess.”
“Please ask her, Zay. As I may have mentioned, Charley had a tough time in school. It’s hard to relate to people when you’re so much smarter than they are, and, if you’ll recall, high school students are not generally tolerant of those who stand out from the pack in ways they