themselves up?” Hal asks.
“We’re thinking more along the lines of creating a vehicle that will allow us to travel on magnetic waves. Hypothetically, if we can do that, we can travel a million miles in as little as an hour.”
Now is my moment. I announce, “While I understand the science of that, Dr. Dogmatic, what are the chances you’re going to be able to succeed in doing that in your lifetime?”
He glares at me with such hatred, I feel myself leaning away from him. “What did you call me?”
“I was just teasing because you’re so blind to the possibilities of the Universe.” I force a light tone. “But in all seriousness, don’t you think it might be more beneficial to focus your energies on Einstein-Rosen bridges?” I turn to the camera and add, “Or wormholes, as they’re more commonly termed.”
Before Ben can have at me — and believe me when I say he looks like he’s about to attack — Lacey interjects, “Wow, Serafina, it sounds like you know a thing or two about science yourself.”
“I did graduate at the top of my class from Yale,” I tell her.
“There’s no way…” Ben starts to say.
I interrupt him before he can officially call my intelligence into question. “Just because I use my education in a different way than you do, Dr. Williams, doesn’t mean I didn’t get one.”
“Yes, but…”
“In fact,” I tell him, “It seems to me that science has only benefited when researchers keep an open-mind.”
He scoffs, then says, “But astrology—”
“Is a science in its own right,” I tell him forcefully.
“According to fortune tellers and genies that pop out of old lanterns.” He rolls his eyes dismissively.
Before I have a chance to retaliate, Lacey announces, “I can’t believe how quickly the time has flown! Unfortunately, we have to tie things up because it’s time for the news.”
Hal interjects, “Serafina, Ben, thank you so much for joining us this morning. Maybe, if we’re lucky, you’d both agree to come back some time soon.”
“Absolutely.” I say enthusiastically before smiling at Ben. “What do you think, Dr. Dogmatic? Want to face off with me again?”
“I’m sure Hal meant separately,” he says stiffly.
“I don’t know about that,” Lacey says. “It might be more fun if you came back together.” Looking into the camera, she asks, “What do you think, America? Do you want to wake up with Ben and Serafina together or alone? Let us know on social media and we’ll make sure to listen.”
While I would rather run a 5K with my ankles tied together than be on this show with Dr. Know-It-All again, I’ll do it if it means aiding a positive view toward astrology and promoting my app. The good news is that if Ben’s constipated expression is anything to go on, I’ll have the whole segment to myself. I am one hundred percent sure he won’t come back to Wake Up America! Not if I’m a guest.
Eight
Ben
As soon as the director says we’re on a commercial break, I stand, then shake Lacey and Hal’s hands before making a beeline for my dressing room. I don’t bother to acknowledge Serafina. Dr. Dogmatic? I’m the dogmatic one? I don’t think so. She can kiss my banana pants.
Of all the infuriating, insane ways to waste my time, this one takes the cake. I’m going to march right into work and tell Dev this was the very last public appearance I’ll be making. If NASA wants a spokesperson, they can hire one. I don’t have time to argue with some airy-fairy nonsense-spreader.
Shutting the door to my dressing room, I remove the horridly tight pants, freeing my man parts from the confines of their holding cell. “Ahhhh, that’s better.”
Sorry about that, boys. It won’t happen again.
I quickly tug on my underwear and pants, then strip off the shirt and vest. I must be allergic to some fiber in it because I’m itching like I’ve got a virulent case of the chicken pox. Once I’m free from the horrid costume, I take a moment to walk over to the small bathroom and splash some water on my face, trying to relish the fact that it’s all over and I never have to do it again.
There’s a loud knock at the door. I call for whoever it is to come in, expecting it to be Justin. Instead, it’s Serafina Lopez. Her eyes land on my bare chest and she blushes a little, then she straightens her back and announces, “I came to get my clothes back.”
“You can