old age right here.”
Now, in the rattling train car, she thought about what he’d said. She loved him like a brother, but could remember only a few times when they’d talked, really talked, as adults. In many ways they were opposites, and neither understood the other.
She stared into the night. He was out there somewhere. Hurt. Alone. About to be killed by men who hated him just because he was a ranger. She had to find him or die trying.
“Cold?” Lewt asked from just behind her.
Em didn’t turn around. “No,” she lied.
“Would you look at me if I said I was sorry, Em? I didn’t mean what I said.”
“I don’t want to look at you,” she said, but she couldn’t help but smile. There was something about Lewt that made him a hard man to hate. “And I need to make something very clear to you. Whether a man wants to marry me or not doesn’t matter. I made up my mind a long time ago that I never wanted to marry. Not ever.”
“Want to tell me why?” he whispered.
“No.”
“Do you think, for just this quest we’re on, we could be friends?”
“Fair enough.” She had a feeling the peace between them wouldn’t last long, but she’d try once again. Somehow this strange man had broken down fences and stepped into her life, whether she liked it or not.
“You know, you may not be cold, but I am. I’d like to stand a little closer to you, but I’m worried about having my head blown off. You wouldn’t murder a friend, would you?”
“Probably not,” she said. “If you’ll promise not to try ordering me around. I hate that, Lewt.”
“I won’t even talk.”
“Good,” she whispered as she felt the warmth of him move very close behind her.
He kept to his word. He just stepped beside her, blocking some of the wind as his arm rested lightly at her waist.
She rolled a few inches until she pressed against his chest. Even if Sumner or Wyatt had been watching, she doubted they’d see how close they were to each other. She might not want a man in her life, but Lewt offered a kind of comfort. She liked the solidness of him. The way he smelled and the way he treated her like a woman even when she didn’t want him to. She’d never let a man boss her around or control her, but a friend might be nice.
Lewt’s stance was wide and seemed to steady her as the car swayed back and forth. They both watched the night as if there were answers out there waiting for the right questions to be asked.
After she’d grown warm in his arms, he leaned slightly and brushed her lips with a kiss. There had been no passion in the touch, only comfort, and she accepted it for what it was.
She turned slightly, snuggling her back against his chest as his arms circled her, pulling her close. They stood like that a long time, before he leaned and kissed her neck. “I like just having you close to me,” he whispered, so low she wasn’t sure he knew he’d said the words out loud. “If that’s all that can be between us, Em, that’s enough.”
When she didn’t protest, his hands began to move at her waist, spreading out over the layers of coat and clothes as if he had to feel her, had to know that she was there.
Just having him close, she thought. That would be enough. That would be all she could handle. When he was gone, she’d remember that once in her life, she’d let her guard down a bit and it hadn’t been as frightening as she’d feared.
Sumner rattled his way to their side of the car, giving them time to move a few inches away from each other. “Hell of a night to be traveling in an open car,” the old man said.
“It is,” Lewt managed.
“I think I’ll turn in. We won’t get there before dawn. Once we’re riding we’ll be wishing for sleep, I figure.”
They all moved toward the stash of supplies and spread out bedrolls. Sumner took the spot closest to the horses. He used his saddle as a pillow and, half sitting up, pulled his hat low only minutes before he began to snore.
Wyatt took the other side of the cleaned-off floor. He rolled up in his blanket and pressed his back against one of the supply bags. He didn’t look comfortable, but the ranger also didn’t seem like