I don’t see or hear from Thayer for days. I should be glad that he’s letting me go. Why wouldn’t he? I made it clear that I planned to do the same. But some part of me wanted him to fight for me like he said he would. The fear of him leaving, along with my stupid pride, wouldn’t let me give in so quickly. Why do girls do that? Wait for an acceptable amount of groveling before they give in? All it does is prolong the pain. On both sides.
“The last thing I ever wanted to be is like my mother,” my mom says. My eyes fly up to see her in the doorway of my room. I frown, not following.
Hello to you, too.
“You’re nothing like her.” I didn’t know her well, but I knew her well enough to know the two are polar opposites.
“Not true,” she says, coming to sit at the foot of my bed. She glances around, taking in the posters and pictures on my walls. “Did you know this used to be my bedroom?”
I shake my head.
“I snuck out of that window more times than I can count.”
I want to laugh, but a small smile is all I can manage. I’ve never snuck out that way, but I have had a boy sneak in. And I’d give anything to have him crawl through that window again.
“I left every chance I could. I spent a lot of my life hating my mother. She always tried to make me fit in this box. She wanted me to be something I wasn’t. She was overbearing and made all my choices for me. And I told myself when I got pregnant with your brother that I’d never do that. I’d never intervene in his life the way she did mine. Yet, here I am, making the same mistakes.”
“How?” I sit up, hugging the pillow in my lap, genuinely confused.
“I’m not around nearly as much as I should be, for one. I depended on Grey way more than I should’ve. I took you guys away from Shadow Ridge where you were happy and threw you to the wolves, knowing how the people in this town could be. I was so focused on providing the life I thought you deserved that I neglected to give you the things you needed most.”
“Mom. This isn’t the same.”
“I don’t want you to resent me.” A tear rolls down her cheek. “I don’t want you to run away one day and never come back.”
“That will never happen,” I assure her.
She wipes her eyes, collecting herself before she shakes her head. “Sorry, I didn’t plan on saying all of that,” she says with a laugh. “I just want to make sure you’re happy. If you want to go back to Shadow Ridge, we will. If you want to stay here, we can do that, too.”
Am I happy in this moment? Far from it. Could I imagine myself being anywhere else?
“I want to stay.”
She blows out a breath, her shoulders sagging a little. “I thought so. Okay. Here’s my attempt at doing the right thing and not the mom thing.”
“Okay…” I hedge.
“I’ve known about you and Thayer.”
I think my heart stops for a beat. “Oh?”
“I found you asleep in his bed right before Danny’s accident.”
“Oh God,” I groan, dropping my face into my hands, embarrassed.
“Obviously, our situation is…complicated. So, I thought it was best that I separate you two.”
So that’s why she moved us back to Shadow Ridge?
“And I’m not saying it was the wrong thing to do. You were seventeen. When we moved back, I thought he’d be away for college and that you would’ve moved on. But as soon as both of you were in the same place, you were like two magnets. That kind of love—the kind that doesn’t fade with time or distance—it’s rare. Like catching lightning in a bottle. And if the only thing holding you back from being happy is the fact that he’s Grey’s half-brother, then you should be with him.”
I blink, not expecting the conversation to take this turn.
“It’s not just that,” I say, wanting to open up, but not quite sure how. My mom and I have never had the kind of relationship where I felt comfortable talking to her about guys.
“I’m not telling you what to do. You’ve always been responsible enough to make your own decisions. I’m just letting you know that whatever you choose, I’ll support it. And Grey will come around, too.”
Thayer
I’m outside Shayne’s