behind me.
It smells like new construction and cedar and is warm and cozy. A cream-colored sofa faces the fireplace, and a table with a marble top sits beside it. A room opens to the right, and I peek inside to find a claw-foot tub and another fireplace. It’s more finished than I realized.
“Oh, my God,” I whisper, stepping inside the bathroom.
On an open shelf are a stack of towels. I take a washcloth and dry my face, clutching it in my hand like it’s a life raft. The tears keep coming as my heart pines for Trevor.
I miss him. I miss him so much, and I can’t understand why he did this if he doesn’t want me.
As I reenter the living room, I see an envelope with my name scrawled across the front in blue ink next to a bouquet of camellias.
My fingers fumble the paper, tears streaking down my face, as I unfold it.
Ohio,
I had no idea how much my life was going to change when I dropped into the Dogwood Café the first time. I just wanted a cup of coffee. Claire talked me into a doughnut. You talked me into giving you my heart.
Because it’s yours. I didn’t realize that until lately. Or maybe I did know it before but couldn’t understand. It’s hard to understand things you haven’t experienced before.
There are a lot of things I want to do in my life. None of them I want to do without you. I bought a flower shop this morning (okay, two), and all I wanted to do was tell you.
I don’t blame you for not talking to me. And I hope you don’t feel any pressure from this. It’s yours, whether you want me or not. (But please want me.)
And when it comes to the flower shops, I hope you’ll help me with them. Meredith talked me into buying them. She said it’s good for my karma and promised to step in and help out if you want no part of it. (Please want a part of it.)
The camellias mean “my destiny is in your hands.” Nice touch, right? I hope you aren’t feeling mean anymore.
Trevor
“Damn you,” I say, clutching the letter to my chest.
“Does that mean I have to get Meredith to help me with the stores?”
I swing around at the sound of his voice to find him standing in the only room I haven’t explored. My knees go weak as he catches me in his arms.
“I’m still mad at you,” I say into his chest. I breathe him in and feel his heart thumping as wildly as mine. “Very mad at you.”
“But very attracted to me too. Right?”
I roll my eyes. “And very annoyed with you.”
“Yeah, I get that one.” He pulls back and looks me in the eye. “I don’t expect you to do anything. I want you to do whatever makes you happy. Whatever you feel is the right move for you.”
I wad up his red sweatshirt in my hands and keep him close to me. I give myself a moment to truly feel what I feel.
The longer I stand, the more I know.
“How I feel has nothing to do with this place,” I say softly. “Or . . . did you really buy two flower shops today?”
He winces. “I have a meeting in about an hour to sign the papers. I know shit about flowers, so this should be fun. And Jake’s thrilled, let me tell you.”
I sigh but nestle myself against him again. “It has nothing to do with that or the camellias, but those were a nice touch.”
“I saw them at the flower show. I had that in my pocket for a rainy day.”
I can’t help but laugh.
“We can take this slow,” he offers. “Or fast. Or however you want to take it.”
He pulls me off him, much to my dismay, and holds me at arm’s length. His eyes shine as he looks at me.
“I left you because I was scared. I was scared of what I was feeling and what that meant and what that might mean. But I realized shortly afterward that I’d already hurt you. And then I went home and lay in bed and realized something else: I was more scared of never holding you again than I was of anything else.”
“Trevor . . .” I wipe a tear off my cheek.
“Someone very wise told me that when you find the right person, you hold on to them for when the storms of life get bad.