I shrugged. Having Julia here might help break me out of my dark mood and wash away the sense of emptiness in the house. “No, it’s fine. What can I do for you?”
Julia’s gaze shot toward the kitchen then back at me. “Is Katya home? I’d love to chat with both of you, actually. In fact, she’s a big reason I’m even here.”
I frowned but fidgeted, the lie springing to my lips quickly. “She’s not here, no. She’s getting ready to visit her family in Vancouver tomorrow.”
Her eyebrows scrunched together. “You aren’t going with her? You haven’t even met your in-laws yet, have you?”
I waved a hand. “I have an important presentation tomorrow. A big meeting I can’t miss. The new job I want so badly hinges on it. She understands.” And though I completely sucked at lying, Julia bought it. Usually she could see through my crap but Julia seemed preoccupied tonight. And more nervous than I’d ever seen her.
I’d offer her a glass of wine but now, thanks to Kat, I knew better than to do that.
“Well, I can talk to just you, too. I wanted to… make amends.”
I twitched my eyebrow. “What? I thought we covered that when we talked at the guest villa at the vineyard. You’re good. You don’t have to ask my forgiveness for your alcohol issues.”
She shook her head vehemently, dark hair whipping her shoulders. “No, this is more specific. I wanted to apologize about Claire.”
I sank against the back of my chair and quirked a brow. “What has she done now?”
Julia almost laughed. “No. I mean... I just feel badly. All these years I’ve kept her in my close friendship. Mom and Dad encouraged all that at first but then she became someone I could count on for a good time. Someone I could party with.”
I shrugged. “An enabler?”
She nodded. “Yeah. And through it all, even though I knew how much it hurt you, your marriage falling apart along with your depression. I was selfish and kept her around for my own reasons. Sure, I was helping the family save face by making your split seem amicable even though it wasn’t. I’m sure the parents were hoping you and her would patch it up again eventually. They blamed you for it all. And Claire’s let enough slip to me over the years that I know that wasn’t the case. But the parents, they just care about how everything looks. And the two of you splitting up five months after a twelve million-dollar highly publicized wedding was the ultimate egg on their face.”
I rolled my eyes. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
She bit her lip and looked up at me with wide eyes. “I played a big part in hurting you. I’m sorry.”
I took in a deep breath and then let it go, unwilling to sort through the stew of emotions churning inside. “Apology accepted.”
She rubbed her hands over her knees. “You’re letting me off the hook too easily.”
“You’re my sister. I love you. And I want you to get better.”
Suddenly her face clouded. “Thank you but… it’s hard not to feel guilty about how I didn’t support you when you needed it.”
I clenched my jaw. “I’ve never had a problem with you and how you handled things. We’ve handled things as best we could. We were too busy trying to live up to their vision for what we were supposed to be to figure out what we really wanted for ourselves.”
A tentative smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “But you figured that out a while ago. You’re doing so much better and I’m proud of you for that. And I can’t tell you how happy I am that you’ve found someone who makes you as happy as Katya does. Even though I really like her a lot, I’m also a bit jealous of what you two have.”
Gut punch. There it was. Her name. Her essence. Even this conversation with my sister was made possible because of Katya’s presence in my life. In the few short months we’d been living together as a couple, she’d left her indelible mark on my life.
I must not have hid my thoughts as easily as I’d assumed because Julia tilted her head at me and frowned. “Is everything okay? With her?”
My gaze darted toward Julia and… I considered maintaining the lie. I wanted to. But in the face of her complete raw honesty with me, I just couldn’t