do that and feel like a worthy human being at the same time.
I hesitated, biting my lip and Julia held out her hand. “You don’t have to air your private business with me I just… whatever it is, I hope you work it out because you two are so good together and—”
“It was fake,” I uttered in a monotone.
Her mouth shut and opened again, then she frowned. “Wait, what?”
I took in a deep breath to fortify myself, then let it all out. Once I’d broken the seal on the dam, it all rushed out in a deluge.
“We got married for… convenience. It helped us both out in our jobs.” She didn’t need to know the details. “It was just for appearance.”
She blinked, so I continued to babble.
“It was her idea, initially. I was happy to go along with it as we both gained from it. It was just meant to be a secret, but—well you don’t need to know all that. And please if you would keep this just between us—”
Julia’s face had clouded during my monologue but suddenly she burst out in the middle of it with, “Bullshit.”
I frowned. “Excuse me?”
“No, I won’t. There’s no way that was fake.”
I rubbed my forehead with my palm, threading my fingers through my hair in frustration but said nothing. The last thing I wanted right now was an argument with my sister. Especially when part of me—a reluctant part—agreed with her.
“Look, I’m not going to dig into your personal private life. It’s not my business why you two got married. But if you split up believing it’s fake now, then that’s just dumb.”
“Gee, thanks,” I breathed.
She made a cutting gesture through the air. “I’m not trying to be mean, Lucas. I’m just saying that if you let her go, then you’re throwing away something good. It was rotten with Claire and even worse when everybody tried to pressure you to stay with her. So I really don’t want to overstep my bounds now. But… you love her. And she very clearly loves you too.”
I looked away, unable to deny the tightening in my chest. And the pinch I’d felt when Kat had admitted those very feelings to me. I ran my hand over my face to buy me some time with my sister.
I wish I could just throw Julia out. Or maybe give her strong hints that she should show herself out.
As if reading my mind, she stood up. “I can’t and shouldn’t tell you how to run your life. I’m sorry. You were always kind to me in that regard.”
I stood to show her to the door and suddenly found myself wrapped in my sister’s arms. “You’ve been a good brother to me,” she murmured into my shoulder.
“I’ve been average at best,” I replied.
She stepped back and looked at me. “Don’t sell yourself short, Lucas. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to get on with your life and ignore the BS our parents have put us through. You deserve Kat. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”
I swallowed but said nothing and she averted her eyes, flicking her dark hair back from her shoulder.
After an awkward pause I sighed heavily. “Move out, Julia. Get away from them and find a group of supportive friends. Do what makes you happy, not them.”
She smiled. “I’m already on it, big bro. Plans are in the works.”
I grinned and tapped her shoulder. “So don’t you worry about me, sis. I’ll be fine. Just concentrate on getting better.”
She stared at me for a few moments longer and I could tell that there was a ton more that she wanted to say. Mercifully, she kept her mouth shut, and we hugged out a goodbye while making a plan to get together for lunch next week.
Hopefully by then she would have dropped the idea of me chasing after Kat to save a fake marriage that she never should have known about in the first place.
This aching feeling, this missing Kat was friendship. Nothing more. Definitely not that mythical unicorn called love.
I wasn’t prepared to examine this any closer. Even now. The hurts of the past, the potential for another deep dive into depression was all too real. I couldn’t let myself go there. I couldn’t let myself feel that. Not now. Never again.
I resisted the urge to text Kat before her flight early on Thursday morning. Instead, I got ready, wearing my best suit, while running over and over in my mind the talking points