“I feel sorry for Nathaniel.”
“I’m sorry, what?” I nearly screech. I’m having this nice heart-to-heart with my mother, and then she totally comes out of left field with that. “How on earth could you feel sorry for Nate? He was a pig that night, Mom.”
“I know, and I’m not excusing his behavior.” She stops with the dishes and wipes her hands off before she continues. “Carol told me he wasn’t doing very well in California. Apparently, he hated his job, and then the woman he was with cheated on him with one of his colleagues. Jim was all set to sell the firm to an outside buyer, but Nathaniel told them he was moving home, and well, they kind of changed their plans to help give him a boost. It’s kind of sad. It’s why I pushed you so hard to give him a chance. Maybe he could use a friend instead.”
“Well, it’s not going to be me,” I state through clenched teeth.
“Norah…”
“What? He was horrible at that dinner, Mom. At your party, he was smug and patronizing. I don’t care if he was heartbroken or not.”
“Well, you can’t blame the man for losing his mind a little bit in front of you…you’re…you.” She folds the dish towel perfectly as she gets a matter-of-fact look on her face.
“What is that supposed to mean?” I ask, feeling strange at that remark because it’s not something I’ve ever heard from my mother.
She shakes her head and waves her hand. “Well…Carol and I have always wanted you and Nate together, so I’m sure she was bragging about you to him like I was bragging about him to you. I’m sure after all his unpleasantness in California, he thought he’d come back home and reconnect with you. Then you show up with Dean, who looks like he belongs in Hollywood a lot more than Nathaniel ever did, and he kind of lost his mind, I suspect. You’d be a hard girl to miss out on, Norah. You’re quite the catch.”
“I am?” I croak as her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I’ve never heard my mother speak about me like this…ever.
“Obviously,” she spouts with annoyance as she helps herself to a cup of coffee that I made earlier. “You’re successful and independent. You’re beautiful with very little effort, and frankly, I’m envious of that. Plus, you’re creative and business savvy, a lethal combination. Not to mention, you’re opening a second bakery and launching a franchise. I underestimated all the hard work you’ve been doing. Dean made me see the light with everything he said about you at our anniversary party. You’ve done what others only dream of, pumpkin.”
Holy croinuts, I’ve entered the Twilight Zone.
Elaine Donahue has actually been listening. Apparently, fake-dating Dean has had some positive effects after all. My mother almost sounds proud of me. And maybe a tiny bit envious?
My voice is thick in my throat when I ask a question that’s been on my mind a lot recently. “Mom, what made you stop working for Mary Kay?”
She holds her mug tightly and hits me with a curious look. “I had you, of course.” She says it crisply like there’s no other possible answer.
“I know, but you could have done both.” I run my hands nervously along my thighs, terrified this will change the direction of our conversation, but I need to understand this secretive part of my mother’s past, so I keep pressing. “Women work and have children. And you were pretty incredible at your job from what I can tell. I’ve always wondered why you quit and didn’t try to do it all.”
“Oh, pumpkin.” She gets a thoughtful look in her eye and then carries her coffee over to the stool beside me. “Honestly, I planned on doing it all. I loved that pink Cadillac.” She laughs softly as she sits down. “But we struggled to get pregnant, and when you go through something like that, it’s only natural for your priorities to shift.”
My lips part. “You never told me you struggled with infertility.”
She waves me off and blows on her coffee. “It wasn’t something people talked about back then, but yes, we struggled for years to have you and for years after you were born to try to have another. I always wanted three kids, but it was never in the cards. Once the doctor told us there was nothing more to be done, that was it. I knew where I needed to be.”
“Where did you need