or doing.”
“Jesus, Dean,” I croak because I don’t know what else to say. “That’s awful.”
“Yeah, it was…and it’s why I don’t mess around with girls if they’re drunk. I saw how hollow and depressed my mom was the day after their fights…like she couldn’t look herself in the mirror. It killed me. Even if she was a consenting adult, those nights completely trashed her confidence. She still dates fucking assholes like my dad. She’s a magnet for them, I swear.”
My heart clenches at Dean’s tough words about his parents. He hinted at their dysfunction at my parents’ party, but I didn’t imagine it to be this bad. My parents were always the type to argue in hushed whispers and even then, my dad would usually end up giving in to my mom and it would be over. Screaming at each other isn’t something I can picture.
Honestly, hearing about Dean’s parents makes me feel guilty for complaining to him about mine. How did he even give me the time of day with this fake-dating scheme? How did he not laugh in my face and call me a spoiled brat who doesn’t know what real problems are?
“Do you have much of a relationship with your parents now?” I ask, hoping things have improved since they divorced.
“Yeah, we’re okay.” He shrugs. “We used to be closer when my grandpa was still around. My dad’s dad kind of forced us all to have these family dinners on Friday nights even though my parents had split up. I think it was his way of making sure my parents were getting along in front of me. But he passed away when I was eighteen and now I pretty much only see my parents for holidays and odd dinners…separately, of course, which is better.”
I chew the inside of my cheek. “That’s kind of sad.”
He wrinkles his nose. “It’s fine…I’m only telling you all this so you understand that last night…that was me losing control. That’s never happened to me before with a woman. So, if I’ve been quiet with you today, it’s because I liked what we did last night, but I feel guilty. I don’t want you to feel like I took advantage of the situation. And I really don’t want Rachael to burn down my house,” he deadpans and I can’t help but laugh.
I cup his bearded jaw in my hand and pin him with a serious look. “I promise I was of sound mind and body and I genuinely enjoyed last night.”
“Thank fuck for that.” After a sigh of relief, a smirk toys at the edge of his lips as he stares at my mouth. “Because watching you last night was probably one of the sexiest things I’ve witnessed, and I watch a lot of porn.”
My lips part in shock and I cover my cheeks to hide the blush that weird compliment elicits. He can’t be serious, right? Dean has slept with a lot of girls…probably more than I want to know. How is it possible that what we did last night could rank that high?
I stare at him, looking for any glimpse that he’s teasing me but he’s gazing back at me with wide, fierce eyes that don’t seem to be hiding anything. Maybe I’m naïve but, I believe what he’s saying. And I’m highly mortified for being flattered.
“It’s kind of hard to believe it was all my idea,” I croak, pulling my hands down from my cheeks and owning my shame.
“You’re telling me,” he barks out a laugh and squeezes my leg before leaning in to speak in hushed tones. “I haven’t been able to stop replaying the image of you with that pink vibrator all fucking day and these damn bicycle shorts hide nothing.”
I bite my lip and glance at his lap in awe. God, this is so crazy. It’s madness. It’s entirely unlike me to hook up with a mountain manwhore on a couples’ trip to Aspen and then want to keep hooking up with him.
But I can’t help it.
I feel this insane sense of power over making a gorgeous, crazy-confident man like Dean lose control of himself in public. Maybe it’s because I haven’t had sex in ages, maybe it’s because my stress level is through the roof and this weekend off is what I’ve needed to get some clarity, but…I’m not done with Dean.
I’m far from done with Dean.
This thing we’re doing here…it needs to continue.
I shoot him a smile and take a deep breath before saying the