Jake patiently waiting for me to calm down. Although I’ve slept, I feel exhausted, and although I’m exhausted, I don’t want to go back to sleep. Not if I’m going to have the same nightmare over and over again like that.
It’s only once I’m calm that I realize there’s light coming through the windows, so it must be morning already. I turn only to see Jake staring at me, watching my reaction.
“I was downstairs getting some coffee. I was going to bring up some breakfast when I heard you screaming. You gave me the fright of my life.” He strokes my arm and wipes a tear from my eye.
“Every time you’re not here in bed with me, I have nightmares. You can’t ever leave me again when I sleep.”
He lets out a little laugh. “Well, I did say I wanted you in my bed, so that settles it then.”
I look into his startling, green eyes and sigh. “I didn’t say it so that—”
He strokes my face. “I know.”
“We can’t do this to Matthew. Not so soon after … well, you know.” I so want to be with him deep down, but at the same time, I don’t want to upset the family dynamics.
“I think we need to play this thing out and see what happens. Matthew isn’t even back yet, so we shall see. Was it the same dream?”
I nod my head and try to stop the barrage of tears threatening to come at any moment. Jake throws his arms around me, and I nuzzle my head into his chest. I take a deep breath in, relishing in his aroma. He smells wonderful.
After a while like this, we break free, Jake pulling away to look at me. “Are you better now? I want to bring some coffee and toast up.” I nod and watch as Jake gets up to walk towards the stairs.
With a sigh, I shuffle out of bed and make my way to the bathroom, and it’s then I realize I’m still naked. I really need some clothes.
I rush towards my room, but instantly shudder when I walk inside. I look towards my pillow and cringe at the thought that he had his hands on it. Suddenly, this room doesn’t feel as welcoming as it used to. Knowing that this psychopath has been in here—probably looking through my things—makes me feel sick to my stomach.
As quickly as I can, I go through my drawers, pick out a tank top and boxer shorts, and then slip them on. I grab my phone by my bedside, since I left it in here again. There are three missed calls and two text messages, all from Jessie badgering me into answering my phone and calling me every bad name under the sun. I decide I can’t avoid her forever and give her a call. As I’m walking back, I also notice a missed message from John.
John: Sorry to hear that you can’t make it. I will wait for your call.
I sigh, thinking I have to contact him at some point, but for now, I have too much on my mind. Instead, I walk back into Jake’s room and dial Jessie’s number. After two rings, she answers.
“Where have you been, you little bitch? I’ve been worried about you.”
The laughter is out straight away. Typical Jessie. “I’m fine. Sorry, I didn’t realize you’d called or texted. I’ve been a little preoccupied the last couple of days.”
She snorts. “So I’ve heard. Tom sent me a cryptic message saying he knows you’re not gay anymore. What the fuck’s he talking about?” She suddenly gasps like she’s realized something. “No! You’re not shagging … Tom … are you? Have a little more respect for yourself than that. Michael yes, but not Tom. Or is it Michael? He’s the superior choice between the two. He also has a nice—”
I had to stop her twenty questions. “Jessie, stop talking. I’m not, as you say, ‘shagging’ Tom or Michael. Tom’s a little shit for blabbing anything to you, but you’re my friend, and I wanted to wait until tomorrow before I spilled everything. I can trust you, can’t I?”
She huffs but the sound is nothing compared to the excitement in her voice. “Of course you can. What do you take me for? Now come on, spill the beans.”
I take a deep breath. “I know I won’t be able to hide this from you anyway. Something happened between me and Jake, and now we’re … well, we’re … I don’t know