to ask you something.” He looks sheepish.
“What is it?”
“Are you on the pill? I know I haven’t taken care of that situation very well. I wear condoms all the time and have been ever since I got Matthew’s mom pregnant. I have always been so scared it will happen again. It’s not that I regret having Matthew at all—I love him more than life itself—but I was young and stupid and have always thought a baby should be made out of love. I have been wearing them without fail ever since then. With you, I seem to lose all my faculties. Logic seems to go right out the window, and all I see is you—and me inside of you. Everything else seems immaterial.”
My heart pounds at his words. His admission of how much he wants me raises butterflies inside my stomach. It makes me want him all over again. I’m not quite sure how I find my voice. He’s so beautiful. Inside and out. “Don’t worry. I’m on the pill, and I have been for a while. I have a lot of trouble in that department, so I need to take them.” I see understanding wash over him before I continue. “Trust me when I say that I never want to make a baby with anyone unless it’s for the right reasons. Take it from someone who has been there. If I ever have a child, I want his or her life to be so much better than mine was because I was an accident.”
As I leave those words there, Jake tenderly strokes my cheek. “I’m sorry you had to go through all that with your mom. I wish I had known she had been treating you that way.”
I shrug, knowing he doesn’t know the half of it. “It is what it is, but I have you now.” We smile at each other as I take his hand. “And … please trust me when I say that I would never do that to you. I would never trap you with a child like that.”
Jake nods. “I know. I just think I should have responsibility on my part. It shouldn’t be just up to you to sort out contraception. I should be sharing it. Sometimes the pill can go wrong.”
I stroke his arm, “I know what you mean, but it doesn’t make a difference to me. I’m on the pill regardless of a relationship, but if you are that worried about it, then we can start using condoms.”
He grabs me, before picking me up over his shoulder. “Jake, what are you doing?” I squeal.
“I’m taking you to my bed where you belong. Fuck the condoms. I like the feel of being inside you too much.” He hauls me up the stairs to his bedroom before dropping me on his bed. I’m giggling like an idiot as he bounces on the bed and tickles me until I can’t breathe.
“Jake, please stop. Please!”
He stops and looks into my eyes. “You’re so beautiful, Ana. My Ana.”
My breathing halts when he brings his head down to my neck and starts kissing me gently.
My God, I think I’m going to die from the fire rising in my body.
“I want this dress off you so I can kiss every part of your body. I have been dreaming about doing that ever since that damn shower. Turn over.” I quickly do as he asks and feel him unzip me. Anticipation of what we are about to do sends my heart fluttering again. He remembers that shower being as painful for him as it was for me. Now we can both be happy in the knowledge that he can take me whenever he wants me.
“Now turn back,” he demands. I do as instructed again as he pulls one strap off one arm and then the other. He’s taking his time as he gently slides the dress down towards my feet and discards it on the floor.
He motions with his finger for me to sit up, so I gladly comply. He then wraps his arms around me and unhooks my bra, letting it slide down my arms. It sends shivers down my body. Seeing my reaction, he looks back at me with a triumphant smile.
“Beautiful, Ana-Lucia.”
I gasp. He knows my full name. I haven’t heard or been called by that name since I was little. “No one’s called me that for a very long time.”
“I think it is a beautiful name. I don’t know why you don’t use it.”
I sigh.