Take a Breath (Take #1) - Jaimie Roberts Page 0,136
get bored and go away. I don’t want anything or anyone else to hurt you. You know that, don’t you?”
I nod my head in his shoulder. “I know. That’s one of the reasons why I love you.”
He pulls me away to look at me. “Just one of the reasons?” he asks. “What other reasons are there?” He gives me that mischievous smile, which lights up my heart.
“I’m not really sure I should tell you. I know how big your head is, and it will only make it harder for me to get you back inside the house.” I smirk at him, suddenly feeling better.
“Ha, ha, again with the big head joke. I’m going for a dip before my head explodes all over your lovely new dress. I wouldn’t want to spoil that in a million years. You look simply good enough to eat in it. But then again, you always do.” He winks at me and runs off, leaving me a puddle of overheated mush on the chair. No matter what, Jake has this uncanny way of looking like sin … sin I want to lick, suck, and bite all over.
31
The rest of the week is very pleasant. Jake and I spend the mornings in bed together while our afternoons and evenings are spent with Matthew. Jake’s constantly a fussy bugger, but he let it slip how guilty he feels for not being with me when it all went down. He says that he had promised to keep me safe, and he hasn’t lived up to that promise so far. I keep trying to tell him that it isn’t his fault and that he couldn’t have known what would happen. I remind him that I am safe now. I tell him that although I am still somewhat shaken, I am happy, which is completely because of him. Although he isn’t content after hearing these things, they do seem to ease him a bit.
However, that doesn’t last long.
There is an unpleasant moment when we are buying groceries and I think I see Tony. I instantly run back to the car. I sit there—hyperventilating—while Jake tries to calm me down after unloading the food. It is then he insists I get in touch with Dr. Townsend immediately and book an appointment. Reluctantly, I make one for Friday morning.
She’s a lovely, middle-aged lady, and after hearing about my history and current problems, she attempts to medicate me for the panic attacks. I explain that I prefer not to use medication, so she teaches me some steps that I can take if I feel another attack coming on.
To begin with, I am supposed to focus on something non-threatening, take slow, deep breaths, and try to think of something positive until it passes. Impressing me, she continues by suggesting that if I ever think I am seeing Tony again, I should face my fears long enough to take a detailed look at that person, observing him as closely as possible. She says I will soon see that whoever I am looking at is not him, and I need to remind myself that it can’t ever be him, and he can’t possibly hurt me anymore.
We schedule another appointment for the following week, and I begin to concentrate on our impending dinner with Cindy this evening.
Jake and I get all the ingredients from the supermarket. I insist that I make everyone’s favorite, chicken cacciatore, and I buy a pecan pie for dessert. It’s important for me to keep busy, and Jake has no arguments when he realizes what I’m going to cook.
The meal with Cindy is very pleasant. She and Matthew are both elated that school has finally ended. Talking with her is very easy, and she seems to have her head screwed on the right way. She wants to follow in her father’s footsteps and become a lawyer. Both Matthew and Cindy look smitten, and it’s a joy to see such happiness surrounding the dinner table.
Sunday soon comes around, and Jessie’s visit is short, but it’s nice to finally see her again after so long. She talks about what’s happening at work, and nothing much has changed … apart from this new guy, David Willis. He has already managed to sleep with one of the policewomen at the office—Sadie—and then he wouldn’t speak to her at all afterwards. That seems to be the newest hot gossip going around the station at the moment. It sounds like my first impression of him was right. I bet he