Sarah or her family, but something inside her felt broken, and she honestly felt so ashamed for everything: Having misjudged Bennett, her plan to hurt him, actually hurting him, and…ever agreeing to keep his mother’s illness a secret. Somehow, out of all this, she’d ended up becoming an ugly, horrible person while Bennett was like this damaged angel who had reached out to her, looking for a path back into the land of the living. All she’d managed to do was break his wings. She’d failed the one man in the world she was meant to help. Nice, Taylor. Real nice.
“So? You ready?” Sarah said, standing up from the couch.
Taylor set her tea on the coffee table and nodded solemnly. She wished Holly could be here, too, but Sarah was strong as hell. She’d keep Taylor from falling apart.
Taylor rose from the couch, went into the bathroom, and came out holding the little white stick, the tip of it wrapped in clean toilet paper. “Here.” She shoved it at Sarah. “You look and tell me.”
Sarah took a breath, grabbed the thing, and flipped it over. She whooshed out a breath and gave Taylor a shallow nod. “What do you want to do next?”
Fuck. “I don’t know.” She’d honestly been in denial this entire time. She’d told herself things like, “Not everyone gets pregnant every time the condom breaks”; “You don’t even feel sick”; and “You’re always late.” But somewhere deep down inside, she knew the truth. She just hadn’t been ready to face it: I’m pregnant. With Bennett’s child. And he hates me. Shit. What am I going to do?
“You’re keeping it, right?” Sarah asked.
Trying to sort out her feelings, Taylor nodded slowly. “It’s not the way I imagined becoming a mother—I thought I’d have a husband and own a house. A job might be good, too.”
Sarah squeezed her arm. “You’ll be okay, Taylor. You have us. And I’m sure Bennett will help you.”
That was the one thing she didn’t want. Seeing Bennett, having to face him on a regular basis, possibly for the rest of her life wasn’t something she could stomach. He hated her with everything he had, while she loved him. It would be like having her heart broken over and over again. Forever.
And, if for some reason, Bennett decided he didn’t want anything to do with her and the baby, that would be a different sort of tragedy. Either way, though, having this baby would result in a prolonged, emotionally painful situation, and probably not the best for a child. Thank you, river. This is so awesome.
“You are going to tell him, aren’t you, Taylor?” Sarah asked.
Taylor shook her head. “I don’t know, Sarah. I just don’t know.”
“But why do you think he won’t forgive you?”
“You don’t know him like I do. He’s…intense. And I broke his trust with something important.” In some ways, what she’d done to him was worse than what his Kate had done.
“You tried to fix a mistake.”
“It won’t matter to him.”
“Taylor, I know this is hard for you. I really, really do. And this probably isn’t the time for a little tough love, so I’ll dial it down a notch because you’re like a sister.”
“But?”
“But every time you’ve assumed something about this man, you’ve been wrong. Really, really wrong. I’ll also point out that keeping the truth from him didn’t work out so well for you last time.”
“You’re right. I know you are. But this is different.” She grazed her hand over her stomach.
“Taylor,” Sarah gripped her shoulders, “you need to grow the hell up. You’re going to have a baby. His baby. You don’t get to decide if he gets to be a father. He does. And it doesn’t matter if you don’t like it. It doesn’t matter if your heart is broken. You have to tell him. It’s his right. I’d say the same thing to you even if I wasn’t a judge.”
—
Taylor’s hand trembled the moment she switched back on her phone—okay, Bennett’s phone. She knew she could call him from her personal cell, but doing this felt symbolic of letting him back into her life. Or, at least, telling him in some weird way that it was what she wanted. But when she called Bennett, the number was disconnected.
She thought it was odd, but then…of course. Why would he keep his number? He doesn’t want to speak with me. And anyone who wanted to reach him would go through Robin anyway, which is what she would have