pressed the button to wake his phone and sighed at the time display. Today was their date night, but he still had another hour to burn.
After wrapping up an early dinner, he sat at the dining table as Matt cleaned up the kitchen. He had wanted to help, anything to keep busy, but Matt had insisted he stay put. Staying busy would be better. After two days and two more nightly video chats, he still hadn’t fessed up. The lie was wearing on him. It was a silly white lie, but he hadn’t wanted Gabriel to think he was inexperienced or naive. Lying about having kissed someone was easy, but the regret that had struck him since was impossible to deal with.
He rubbed at his chest, just as he had for the last two days when the sudden ache appeared. He wondered if this lie would jeopardize Gabriel’s trust in him.
He glanced up at Calvin, standing under the archway to the living room. “Someone’s here for you.”
With a nod, he stood and rubbed his palms against his jeans. Gabriel was early, but maybe he was just as anxious about their date as Ben. He could hope. Shoving his phone into his back pocket, he tucked the chair under the table. He stepped out into the living room, determined to come clean. There was no way he was starting off this date on a bad foot.
He stilled when a familiar green gaze stared back at him.
Maddy.
His heart thrashed and protested in his chest, battling with the odd twist in his stomach. He hadn’t seen his sister since the morning of his second arrest. She hadn’t visited him in prison or responded to any of his text messages since his release.
“Can we talk?” she asked.
Not the icebreaker he had hoped to receive. He blinked, his brain finally catching up to get a read of her lips. His legs kicked in and jolted him forward. He led her to the back porch and gestured toward the bench. After she sat, he took the seat next to her.
“Sam called me this morning. He said you were getting out of here soon. He wanted to talk about your living arrangements.” She paused for a moment to frown.
He rubbed his arms, fighting a sudden chill.
“Benny…you’re not moving back in with me.”
Words he knew would come but had hoped they wouldn’t. The air rushed in and out of his lungs out of sheer instinct. He wanted to escape what he sensed coming. Instead, he rapidly blinked, clearing the sudden blurriness in his vision so that he wouldn’t miss a single word she spoke.
Years had built distance the size of a gorge between them. But he had persevered, doing everything in his power, hoping and begging for her to see him as a man who could stand on his own two feet, even when he stumbled. Not as the baby brother who needed extra care and attention. He didn’t want to be treated with kid gloves. He wanted respect and equality. He thought he had made some strides after they had reconnected.
At least, he had hoped.
She shook her head. “I love you, but I just can’t anymore.” Isn’t love supposed to conquer all? She rubbed her hands along her thighs, the same way he did when he was trying to gather his thoughts. “It’s too hard.”
“What is?” he signed, his hands shaking with each movement.
She shook her head. “You know I don’t understand when you do that.”
He pulled his phone out of his back pocket and typed out a quick note on his app, turning the display toward her with the same message he had signed.
She squinted at the screen, then straightened. “You don’t get it. I searched for you for years after Mom died. I thought that was what I was supposed to do. But when I didn’t find you, I moved on, until that detective contacted me years ago.”
He frowned at her words: “I thought that was what I was supposed to do.” Had she not wanted to find him?
“But after you moved in, it’s like everything came back. And I remembered how tough it had been growing up. How much extra attention you needed.”
He stiffened. After he had moved in with her, his job at Shaw and Drayton’s office paid him enough to cover half the rent and bills without issue, just as she had requested when she had agreed to take him in. He bought the groceries each week and always cleaned up after