Surviving Regret - Megan Smith Page 0,53

points. We’re losing seventeen to nothing ending the half. All of the hype and excitement is slipping away.

Coach Lander yells as we all expect during halftime. “Get your heads out of your asses.” He throws his clipboard on the ground. “Play the damn game the way I know you all can play. We can’t walk away from this game scoreless. That’s not us!”

We all yell, “Yes, sir.” And then all settle back in our own heads trying to figure out what we can all do to make the game better.

The third quarter we still can’t seem to make a damn score. The Cardinals are able to score another six points with two field goals. The score is now twenty-three to nothing.

Cash is pissed. He’s hesitating because no one can seem to be able to get open. This is a good and a bad thing. Cash is a monster on the field when he’s pissed off so hopefully this is what we need to get some points up on the board.

When the kicking team takes the field I hear Coach Lander say to Cash, “Take that goddamn anger and throw the fucking ball, Cash. You’re my starting quarterback for a reason so prove to me why I chose you.”

Cash grits his teeth. “Yes, sir.”

“And you,” Coach Lander points at me. “Get the hell open so he has someone to throw the damn ball to.”

“Yes, sir.”

Finally, in the fourth quarter I get a break and Cash throws me a twenty-three-yard pass. I score putting us on the board. The Cardinals follow that up with a field goal. Riley receives the punt return running it in for a sixty-five-yard touchdown getting us on the board once again. The last play we make, Jet scores with a twelve-yard catch scoring another touchdown.

It’s not enough to win us the game with the score being twenty-six to twenty.

As I’m walking to the locker room I hear Cash talking to reporters telling them that we were all hesitating and that’s something we just can’t do. He’s right, we can’t. It cost us the game. It’s our first loss of the season and it fucking sucks.

November 16, 2013

Eugene, Oregon

Utes vs Ducks

We’re back on our home field. This week’s practices have been brutal. Coach Lander is pissed that we lost last week’s game and he’s taking it out on us. Practices and training have been extra-long barely giving me a chance to breathe, let alone get any homework done.

Everyone is being quiet as we suit up for the game. I feel good about this game though and I’m hoping we’ve found our groove again.

The first quarter, Holden receives an eight-yard pass for a touchdown and then we get a field goal and the Utes come up with nothing.

“That’s the way to run through them, Holden!” I say, knocking helmets with him.

“That number thirty-four had me about shitting my pants when he was coming after me. You see the size of that guy?”

I laugh. “Yeah, he has it out for you.”

The second quarter, Cash drops back into the pocket and he tosses me a five-yard pass for a touchdown. The Utes were able to score a touchdown as well. The score is seventeen to ten.

When we get to the locker room for half, Coach Lander is in a slightly better mood seeing as we’re ahead in the game. The crowd is keeping us all upbeat after our shitty performance last week.

The third quarter, Sean receives the kick return and runs it in for an eighty-six-yard touchdown. The crowd goes crazy. This is what we’re about. We find our way and lead it. Jet is able to score a fourteen-yard touchdown with a perfect pass from Cash but we miss the extra point. Then the Utes are able to score a touchdown right after that. The last play of the third quarter Cash hands the ball off to Holden and he runs it in for a seventeen-yard touchdown. The score is now thirty-seven to fourteen. We’re in our groove and nothing is holding us back tonight.

The last quarter the Utes score right off the bat for a touchdown. We hold them off from scoring anymore and with two minutes left on the clock Holden runs the ball in for a sixteen-yard touchdown.

“Damn, Holden, you’re on fire tonight.”

“Let’s hope the ladies tonight think so too.”

I laugh high-fiving him on the way to the locker room.

We won forty-four to twenty-one.

November 23, 2013

Tucson, Arizona

Wildcats vs Ducks

Another away game and the pressure is building on

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