to do the same here, even if the opponent I’m facing is my own mother.
“Mom, I’m not quitting,” I say firmly, confident in my resolve.
Her face hardens. “Claire…”
“I know last night sucked—”
“Last night was unbearable!” She sits up abruptly, robe falling open to reveal her teddy-bear pajamas. “Do you have any idea what it was like for me to not have my daughter come home? To receive a panicked call from Demi, crying that you had been attacked? I had no idea where you were, whether you were injured, or if I’d ever see you again.” The more she talks, the closer she leans toward me, and I can feel the stress radiating off her skin. Hands balled up in the blanket, she squeezes the fabric like it’s her only lifeline. “When I called the police, they connected me to Warrior Nation, but all they would tell me was that the heroes were ‘on it,’ whatever that means. They wouldn’t give me any details, no indication as to whether or not you’d come home safe. All I could do was wait, checking the door and my phone on an endless loop, hoping to hear from you.”
I pause before responding, collecting my thoughts. When you’re in a debate, it’s important to choose your words wisely and not counter out of pure passion. You don’t win by losing your cool. “Mom, I hate that you went through all that. I’m so, so sorry.” I reach for her trembling hand. “I never expected to be kidnapped, and it was terrifying. But…it doesn’t change my commitment to Warrior Nation.”
She squints, looking at me like I’ve lost my mind. “These people—these villains—they know who you are. They tracked you down, they attacked you! How can you not run from this screaming?”
I think about my abductor, hungrily running his hand over my thighs. How my skin felt ready to disintegrate in my panic. But then I think about Joy’s hands on me afterward, how her touch made me feel so safe, so alive. Sure, there is risk being tied to this hero organization, but it’s not without some pretty amazing perks.
“Those guys made a mistake; they thought I was someone else, that I would be willing to turn against the Warriors,” I tell her. “It’s not like that would ever happen again.”
“You can’t know that!” she scoffs. “And I can’t be in a state of worry every time you’re not with me!”
I’ve never seen her act like this before. As a single mother with only one child, Mom’s always been protective but not to the point of keeping me from experiencing life. She’s the kind of parent who threw me into a pool before I was ready to swim, who let me ride the CTA by myself when I was ten. My whole life she’s encouraged me to be independent and not let anything stand in the way of my dreams. But now she looks one thought away from binding me in Bubble Wrap before I leave the apartment.
“You don’t have to be scared,” I reassure her.
“Of course I do!” She throws her hands up. “Claire, you are my whole life. And I can’t knowingly send you into danger. Have you seen what’s going on in this city?” She grabs for yesterday’s Chicago Tribune sitting on the coffee table. “Just yesterday, they pulled four bodies out of the Chicago River….”
“I know,” I say sadly.
“You know?”
“Yeah, we…talked about it at our debriefing. That attack, my kidnapping, and some other stuff are all connected somehow…. It’s like a siege against the Warriors.”
Mom stands up, pushing her bangs up off her face. After pacing back and forth a few times, she makes her decision. “You are quitting.”
“No!” I yelp, jumping up to meet her height. “You can’t make that choice!”
“I am your mother! Protecting you is my job, and nothing is worth your life.”
“But this is!” I fight back, completely losing my debate team composure. “Warrior Nation IS my life!”
She takes a breath, trying to keep this from exploding into a full-blown screaming match. “I know how much being a WarNat means to you.”
“No, Mom, this is more than just fandom. This is it for me. Being part of this team, working for the Warriors…that’s what I want to do. Forever.”
“You’re seventeen.” She shakes her head. “You don’t know where you’ll end up after college, let alone forever.”
The word “college” pierces a hole in my heart. I’ve been putting off this conversation for as long as humanly possible, but