altruistic side and reinforced his belief that he was not a complete loss in the human-kindness department. He listened to Rosemary’s stories about her departed husband with careful attention; Rosemary and Clive Pinkle had traveled extensively and Rosemary’s stories were fascinating. She did on occasion lapse into unexpected moments of melancholy—she shed tears, she broke down into sobs—at which point Gavin held her hand, hoping that should his father die first, there would be a young man in Chicago who would fill a similar role for his mother.
On the night in question, Rosemary was in high spirits. She was a gardener and heartened by the fine weather, and by the fact that the deer were staying away from her tulips. She and Gavin were eating at American Seasons, newly opened for the season, a further harbinger of summer. Just as Gavin was delving into his cream of sorrel soup, he was struck by a paralyzing thought. That afternoon at work, he had sent out a letter to the women’s shoe company in New York, thanking them for their underwriting donation and confirming the 501(c)(3) status of Nantucket’s Children, making the donation tax-deductible. As Rosemary detailed to him how she had outsmarted the deer (she had sprinkled the mulch around the tulips with human hair, collected from a salon in town), Gavin questioned the amount he had typed in the letter. The check had been for $50,000; he had “deposited” $50,000 and taken $1,000 as cash, making the net deposit $49,000. That number, $49,000, was the number that stuck in Gavin’s mind—and he became more and more fearful as he pretended to eat his soup, and as he pretended to listen to Rosemary (the salon had been glad to get rid of the hair), that he had typed in $49,000 as the amount of the donation, instead of $50,000. The letter had been signed by Lock (who did not read it), stamped, and taken to the post office. However, if Gavin had indeed typed in $49,000 instead of $50,000, someone from the women’s shoe company would call to inquire, and this would cause either Lock or Adams Fiske to look more closely into the matter.
Gavin tried, tried, tried to remember. He was hyperaware of every detail of his crime; he would have been paying attention when he wrote this letter, right? But that was the problem: he could not remember typing in the figure $50,000, and he did not remember double-checking it before he took it over to Lock’s desk for a signature. Gavin did not remember typing $49,000, either, but this was the amount he subconsciously attached to the donation. Gavin’s heart was slamming in his chest. He was growing warm and he had to yank his tie free of his neck—it was strangling him—though of course he hated to do it, because there was nothing quite as distasteful as a man with a sloppy necktie. Gavin was positive now that if he had been working from his subconscious, if he wrote the letter on autopilot—which he must have, since he couldn’t remember the most important detail of the letter—then he might have typed in $49,000 instead of $50,000. Lock did not read the letter because he never read the letters—they were all the same—and because Gavin had been looming over Lock’s desk with barely concealed impatience. He wanted to get to the bank, he wanted a cigarette, and some of the letters Lock was signing had been waiting for twelve days. Lock had not noticed the amount. He was tired from his vacation, and if Gavin could put his two cents in, he seemed distracted, as if he had left his ability to focus back in Tortola. Plus, there was never a reason to check Gavin’s work because Gavin never made mistakes. It was bound to happen sometime, though, and it had happened today. Gavin set his spoon on the plate resting under his soup bowl. He could not eat another bite.
Rosemary noticed this. In so many ways, she was like his mother—Eat up, eat up!
“Are you finished?” she said. “Is it not good?”
“I don’t feel well,” Gavin said. He could not get caught! Okay, say a representative from the women’s shoe company did call. Chances were, Gavin would answer the phone. But what if the call came while Gavin was at lunch? What if the call came before Gavin got in in the morning or after he’d left in the evening? What if it came in while he