need to keep it running, Mya. I don’t look at it. I would only do so if the alarms were triggered which they’re set to if someone or something tried to get in.”
“Some thing?” Mya’s voice went squeaky.
“Like an evil entity. Not everything has a body.”
“It’s a good job I don’t need much sleep, because now I’m not going to get any at all,” she shrieked.
“Mya, those alarms haven’t been triggered in decades.”
“That does not mean they won’t. What if the evil people hear there’s a new queen and think she might be so new it would be a good time to invade?”
“You’re being silly.”
“Oh excuse me for panicking about intruders or getting upset that I can be watched on video. I’m not an episode of EastEnders.”
“No, they’re less dramatic on there and that’s saying something,” I snarled.
“Suck you.”
“Nice. Thanks for the respect towards someone who’s trying to help you.”
“Suck off. Go on. Get the suck out.”
I started moving towards the living room door. “Do you know, I think I will, because I’ve better things to do than be disrespected by a lower lifeform.”
“What. Did. You. Just. Call. Me?”
“Death trumps vampire,” I announced.
I knew it would wind her up, but I just couldn’t seem to stop myself.
“You’re the disrespectful one. I bought you some new clothes and you threw them out of the window!”
I had. And I’d regretted it because I’d not realised how much leather chafed until I’d had some time without it.
“You look stupid wearing all that around the house. Leather trousers, boots, a black polo shirt, and a big cloak.”
“And what about when I’m in my smoking jacket and matching bottoms? Do I look nice then? Do I look smokin’ hot?”
She did a fake retch.
I took my coat off and threw it on the floor.
“Now what are you doing, you infuriating man?” she yelled.
“You said I looked stupid wearing these, so I’m taking them off.” My polo shirt came off next. I threw it onto the pile.
Mya had been about to shout something else, but instead she stood still, staring at my chest. I had a large black scythe tattooed over my right pec. She moved closer. I took a step back and she seemed to snap out of her trance-like state.
“Enjoying the view?” I teased.
Her eyes narrowed and she took hold of her black, oversized sweater and pulled it off over her head.
Oh shit.
Her own t-shirt followed suit.
“For us to be equal, I need to take off my bra.”
“Don’t you dare!” I yelled.
“Or what?”
“Or I’ll take down my leather trousers, and I’m not wearing pants.”
I saw her eyes look me over, first running over my chest and then down my thighs, to my feet and back up, resting at my groin area.
“You started this. Pick your clothes up and apologise for throwing what I bought you out of the window and we’ll say no more about it.”
I wasn’t proud of my next move.
I turned away from her, pulled down my leather pants and said, “Kiss my arse, Mya Malone.”
Mya
Death’s arse faced me.
It was peachy, and as he wiggled it, it kind of dimpled. He’d told me to kiss it.
So I would.
I shot forward, kissing one arse cheek and then the other, and then I took a crafty nip.
Death had been frozen in place until my bite. Then he swung around. “Did you just bite my—”
“Arrrgh,” I clutched my eye. “Your dick just hit me in the eyeball, you idiot.”
“You bit my arse.”
“I’ve heard people say their dick’s so big it could poke your eye out, but there’s no need to try to take it literally.”
“At least you’re acknowledging my dick is rather generous.”
I let my hand fall from clutching my eye and squinted it a bit. “Do you think you could put it away?”
He then seemed to realise he was standing there with his trousers down and no shirt.
“Apologise for biting me and I’ll dress and leave.”
“No, you’re apologising for throwing out your clothes.”
He sighed. “I do apologise. Did you keep them? Only while I’m half-dressed I may as well put my new clothes on. These get a tad hot. I’d not realised.”
“Hah. See, I was right. They’re in the bottom drawer of the chest in my bedroom.”
“Could you get them for me please?”
“What did your last slave die of?”
“I’ve never had a slave. Or any help of any kind before you. Even The Librarian doesn’t work for me. She’s just part of the house. Now, it’s your turn.”
“To do what?”
“To apologise. For biting me.”
I put