you saying I can’t swear?” I think that could be a hard limit if that was the case.
“You can swear, but just not quite as much as you are doing. Those down below won’t mind a jot, but the peeps above, who call in now and again, aren’t as keen. So, if you could just reduce your use of the f-word.”
“Suck off.”
His mouth curled upwards at the edge.
“Suck you, and suck this stupid bathroom, and the fact I don’t have a sucking towel.”
Death dropped his hands and then looked shocked. What had he expected to see?
“Oh my. Sorry, sorry. I just thought you were mistaken and that there’d be one in here somewhere, but you’re right, there isn’t, and I’ll go now and be back in a moment with a clean towel or two.”
“And some shampoo and shower gel.”
He disappeared back up through the ceiling and then returned shortly after through the bathroom door. Clearly shampoo and shower gel didn’t do the wispy conversion.
“It’s a bit late covering your eyes now,” I said as he held the bottles over his eyes and began banging his body into the toilet on his way towards me.
He moved the bottles away, making sure to keep his eyes on my face. “I’ll just give you these and then leave you to it.”
“Nice try, Big D, but I won’t be moving my hands to accept the bottles. Put them on the bath side.”
“Oh gosh, of course.” He put them down and turning, put the bath and hand towels he’d brought down onto the closed toilet seat.
“Thanks, D. Want to meet for breakfast at eight?”
He spun around, looking pleasantly surprised. I’d just reached for the goddamn shower gel.
“Y- yes, b- breastfast, I mean breakfast.”
He misted out through the ceiling again. I should have felt embarrassed, but after the past day’s occurrences it had given me a much-needed giggle.
Deciding that Death would no doubt still be embarrassed over seeing my boobs, I put on a black baggy sweatshirt and some leggings with no chance whatsoever of seeing even a hint of tit.
I walked up the stairs and into the kitchen. Death hadn’t arrived yet, but Spence was there nursing a cup of coffee.
“Morning, Spence.”
“Morning, Queen. How was your first night?”
“Not bad, though tonight will be a lot better once I’m not sharing a room with dust bunnies. Never did want a pet.”
The table rocked as Spence put his mug back on it.
“Does this table need repair?” I looked around for a piece of card. Opening the freezer, I tore off part of a fish finger box, folded it, and put it under the leg so it stopped rocking.
“Thank you. That’s been annoying me for years.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Would you, if you had a wooden leg?”
I couldn’t help it. I burst out laughing and Spence joined in. Just as Death walked in looking broodier than ever.
I started drinking my blood. “Do you want a topper in that?” Spence asked.
“No, she doesn’t. She needs to work. There’s only you allowed rum with your morning coffee and that’s because I’ve tried and failed to get you to change your ways,” Death glared.
“Someone’s got up on the wrong side of the bed,” I whispered to Spence.
“I. Don’t. Sleep.” More glaring.
“Why are you in such a mood this morning?” I asked him.
“It’s my natural state.”
“Is this a defence mechanism because you saw my boobs this morning?”
“Mya!”
I shrugged. Spence’s face lit up with glee.
“How? How did he see them? Can I have a turn? I want to see a tit.”
“There’s one right there.” I pointed to Death.
“I just came to let you know that I have some business to attend to today. Therefore, I won’t be around until this evening. Is there anything you need from me before I depart? Any questions?”
“Nope. I think I got everything off my chest this morning.” I smirked.
I thought Death would walk out in disgust, but instead his eyes lit in challenge.
“Well, I’m available by phone if you need to keep me abreast of any situations.”
“I’ll be fine. I have a lot of support.”
“Good. Well, I hope your travels go okay if you decide to nip out.”
Spence snorted and coffee came out of his nose. “You do realise you’re both making complete tits out of yourselves, don’t you? Get a room already.”
Spence held his hands up in surrender as we both glared at him. Then Death walked out.
“Been a long time since I’ve seen that,” Spence sighed.
“You still going on about my boobs?”
“Nah, I’m talking about