then pulled out a piece of paper. He thrust it at me, and I took it.
After a quick glance, I felt my cheeks go hot. How had I forgotten about this?
I looked up at my brother and knew I was about to eat crow.
He sighed. “The money was for the tractor you and I agreed on buying. Remember? I drove to Missoula to get it.”
I swallowed hard. “Michael, I had totally forgotten. I’m so sorry.”
My brother took off his cowboy hat, scrubbed his hand down his face, and cursed. “Damn it, Merit. This whole situation is putting all of us on edge. I need you to know I haven’t gambled since you’ve been back. And I’ll try and figure out a way to make it up to you for using all your money to get everything caught up. I didn’t mean what I said about you coming in to save the farm.”
I shook my head. “No, Michael. Part of this is my fault for staying away from home and making everyone feel like they couldn’t reach out to me for help. It took the farm almost going to the bank before Mom said anything.”
His brows furrowed. “None of this is your fault. None of it. Dad was the one who chose to cheat on Mom and then drown away his guilt in a bottle of whiskey every day, leaving me and her to run this place.”
I wrapped my arms around my body, trying not to shake from the chill that ran down my spine. “I still can’t believe he cheated. I want so desperately not to hate him, Mike.”
He nodded. “I know. I feel the same way, sis. The only thing we can do is be there for Mom right now. She’s all that matters. And the farm. I honestly could care less if the bastard never comes home.”
“You don’t mean that,” I said softly.
He turned and stared out over the fields. I followed his gaze, and we stood there in silence for a few moments.
“At least the you-pick-it season was a good one this spring. We pulled in a good amount of money with it,” I said.
“Yeah, you did a really good job marketing it. I think it’s been the best season in a long time,” Michael stated with a smile.
I nodded. “Yeah, it seemed like there were a lot of people coming by. I think the pumpkin and Christmas season will be good as well, if we market it the same way.”
Michael’s gaze dropped down to mine. “You used to love picking the berries…what changed?”
With a forced smile, I replied, “It’s called growing up.”
He laughed. “I guess so. I just remember you and Dirk loved spring on the farm.”
My heart dropped slightly at the mention of Dirk’s name.
Dirk Littlewood had been my best friend growing up. Well, my guy best friend. Kaci Morrow had been one of my female best friends, along with Libby Hastings. Kaci was always hanging out with Brock Shaw and Dirk. She had the two of them boys wrapped around her finger, and she knew it. They both fawned over her, fought over her, loved her. Hung on every word she spoke. The way Dirk looked at Kaci when she walked into a room was what every girl in our high school wished for. To have Dirk Littlewood look at them like he wanted them. Myself included.
There were times I hated Kaci for the way she strung both of them along. She’d enjoyed every minute of it, too. Even bragged that she knew how to make them both fall all over themselves with little hints of what she could do to them…and for them.
Whereas Dirk thought of me as a sister, I had been secretly in love with him for as long as I could remember. Mom had always allowed me and Dirk the first walk-though in the strawberry field before she opened it to the public. She had worked long and hard on growing that field. It had been our thing for as long as I could remember. I had known senior year would be our last chance to pick strawberries together. I had planned on telling Dirk my true feelings for him that day. He was leaving to go on the PBR circuit full time, and I was heading off to college. I had been so nervous, yet so excited to finally get it off of my chest.
When he’d shown up with Kaci that morning and asked if I cared if she