myself. He shouldn’t be on his own.
Ruby runs into the room, a cake bar and banana in her hands, and comes to a halt in the middle of us, followed by Seth. Storm and Seth nod at each other before Seth sees the TV news, which is still playing but silent. Now he will know what I’ve done.
“They have a goat in the garden. Is it the talking one, Karma?” she asks me.
“Who is this?” mum asks, flicking her eyes between Ruby and me.
“My half-sister, Ruby. It’s not safe for her to go home, yet. Can she stay?” I ask.
“Family is always welcome. Why don’t we go and see Michael the goat? He always makes everyone laugh, and I can tell you some stories of how mischievous he can be,” mum asks, holding a hand out for Ruby. She looks to me, and I nod before she takes my mum’s hand. Once mum and Ruby leave, the room becomes thick with the unsaid words.
Dad’s the first one to speak, surprising me. “I might be the only human in this room, but I don’t need magic to know you need to explain what happened, Karma.”
“Karma, is that really you?” Hugo asks, pointing at the screen.
Damien can’t help but ask, “How did you get that powerful? Where did you find a new sister?”
“It’s good to be home, but I want to get some sleep, but know I’m so sorry for what I did. I was forced,” I finally say, not answering them exactly but giving enough to keep them appeased for a minute. I push away from Killian and run through the house, up the stairs and carefully past the haunted painting before getting to my room. The tears are already falling when I see my old room and walk in the dark to my bed. Clutching my bedsheets, I roll onto my side and let out all the emotions I’ve held back for as long as I could. I weep, crying my eyes out even as I hear the door creak open and three people enter the room. Seth lies next to me as Storm sits on the end of my bed. I glance over as Killian climbs onto the other side of the bed, and I snuggle into his chest as I can’t stop crying.
“You did not do this. Neritous made you. Cry with us tonight, and tomorrow you make him pay for burning the city and using you as his weapon.”
I can’t respond to Storm’s words, but I know he is right. But tonight...tonight I mourn the lives I took.
Tonight I beg for whatever magic there is in the world to forgive me.
Chapter 10
There’s nothing quite like the feeling of not being at home in your own skin. I’ve always considered myself pretty self-assured, at least when it comes to my place in the world. At the end of the day, my identity was chosen for me from square one: spend my life as a karma goddess, balancing the scales of justice, no matter how petty, and live a happy, uneventful life. It might not have been an adventure, but it was a known quantity. It’s only now, as I thrash around in bed, my sweat soaking the sheets and my breathing ragged and heavy, that I’m starting to appreciate that sense of hum drum normality.
I thought I knew who I was once. I was never a great karma goddess, but that was all I had to be; my responsibilities began and ended with a name on my hand and a chain full of charms around my neck, and that was fine by me. Now, though, as I stare up at the ceiling with eyes that are bloodshot from lack of sleep, I’ve never felt more alien. It’s not just a superficial thing, although the tattoos are going to take some getting used to—they’re a symptom, not the cause, another brutal reminder of the fact that I’ve been moulded into a tool by the man who was supposed to be my father.
No, the worst part is the foreignness of it all. It feels like there’s something alive inside me, a parasite that’s made a home from my skin all the way to my bones, and there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s like I can feel it slowly seeping through my being, like a tree spreading out roots, touching every cell in my body until no part of me is free from its horrible, beautiful power. My karma