the tears. “Then again, pretty much every human male would look like a weed beside you.”
Pride filled my chest once more. I loved having her see me like this. It made up for the ego-destroying days watching her cosying up to the Theran.
“Lain,” she groaned. “It’s Rian. Just because he looks different doesn’t mean he’s not your brother and part of your pod. We wouldn’t have developed Mind Speak if he wasn’t, would we?”
“You have it with the other one, too. And he definitely isn’t part of our pod,” I grumbled, although a lot of my resentment was now gone.
“None of this is usual. Your usual, or mine. Or even Charsus’ normal. We’re all having to blunder our way through, making it up as we go along, hoping we get it right. Right for us. Maybe not for others, but for us.”
I nodded my reluctant agreement. Rian had given his life so we could know the bliss of a podmate. He had broken rules of life and death to keep her safe for us. And the Theran had also broken rules to assist him. I was a selfish bastard to want them both gone.
“Yes, you are. Just try to be a little more understanding, okay? That’s all I ask. You’ll probably start feeling them now, too.”
“No, I won’t. That’s not how this works. You can hear all of us. Well, you will, if you have sex with my brothers, but we won’t hear each other. Just you.”
“But Rian hears Charsus. Oh, yeah, I guess that is different. They heard each other before I even got in on it with them.”
I nodded and nuzzled my nose into her neck, starting to feel aroused again.
She laughed and shook her head. “Don’t even go there, blue boy. I’m really feeling your size, right now. Great at the time, not so great after. I have no idea how I’m going to keep up the pace with all of you. Maybe I’m not fully healed from the renegades.”
I grimaced to think I’d caused her that sort of pain, but she rushed in to assure me that it was totally different.
“We’ll get you checked out when we get back. If something is wrong down there… Marissa’s mate Lurus can fix it,” I told her, drawing her in for one last hug.
The wonder of what we had shared still filled me with awe. I had shared an incredible moment with my beautiful, brave podmate. Whatever I had to do to make her life perfect I would do it, even accept the Theran into our pod.
18
JENNA
I’d never been sexually aggressive. There was no Dom nature in me. But demanding Lain fuck me had been the biggest thrill of my life. Yes, I’d done it out of frustration, both from his attitude to Charsus and my sexual arousal whenever he was around, but the old me would never have acted on that frustration in such a way.
Thoughts of the renegades had been uppermost on my mind for the last week as I moved around the small ship with the three huge Danan warriors I couldn’t help being drawn to. My fear of sex had been groundless when I was with Rian/Charsus because they looked nothing like a Danan. But having sex with my so-called Danan podmates was another thing completely.
Yet, for the sake of peace, I invited sex with a Danan. And once I did it, once I was caught up in the power of the bond, I didn’t regret a moment of it. Sex with Lain had been transformative on so many levels.
I just hoped it proved transformative for him, as well. The idea that he would force out Rian and Charsus once we were safely home, as I’d seen in his mind, was the last thing I wanted. If he tried to do it, I would never forgive him.
My mind turned back to the moment my libido took over. Kissing Rian in his Danan body had been the sweetest experience of my life, and as the Renegades had never kissed me, the experience hadn’t been tainted by them. But sex… oh, I had been sure I’d freak out when one of those big colorful bodies was over mine, plunging into me.
But Lain’s innocence and insecurities had given me confidence. As I took the lead, I’d felt my fears evaporate. When he was seated deeply inside me, and I could feel what he was feeling, all fear evaporated. How could you fear someone who thought the sun shone