Obliteration was symbolic,’ I mused.
‘It was. That is what the Darkness wants for the whole Third Density. What the Zuaire want.’
I lifted my chin as I unhooked my harness. ‘Then we make sure they never get what they want.’
“Any word on the Zuaire and Keeda?” Rian asked, probably having overheard our conversation.
“Dad says they’ve picked up the ion trail and are following it,” Meida passed on. “They’re pleased we survived the asteroids. Rhain had been worried, which he just revealed to the others. They’re pissed at him for not warning them of the threat to us. Again.”
Rian laughed. “Good thing Dad has a thick skin. We didn’t need to know our odds of getting through that belt were lower than he would’ve liked.”
“I’d like to have known about the pirates ahead of time, so we could have avoided them,” Lain grumbled.
“Obviously doing that would have led to a worse situation. Short-term fixes are not always the best. Hasn’t he told us that often enough?” Rian snapped, showing more anger than I’d ever seen from him.
His nerves were frayed. Having his father criticized probably didn’t help.
I left them to it, keen to get a bit of space so I could calm down. The last half hour had felt like days. How did people do this on a regular basis? There was a lot to be said for peace and routine. Knowing where you stand and what to expect.
Maybe from now on that would be our future. I desperately wanted a return to normalcy. Whatever normal had become since I left Earth.
17
LAIN
It was taking everything I had to play nice with the intruder. No matter that my brother shared the body with him. No matter that Charsus had been instrumental in saving our podmate. The fact that he slept at her side every night—probably making love to her along with Rian—messed with my head in the worst way.
Had anyone suggested I was the jealous type as we were growing up, I would have laughed in their face. Jealousy seemed to be such a wasted emotion, a sign of insecurity. Only someone who doubted themselves would ever feel jealous.
Did I doubt myself? Maybe. I know I hated the sleek good looks that bordered on beauty that the Theran displayed. I hated that he was a thousand years older than me and knew so much. I hated that Jenna seemed to look up to him, while treating the rest of us like children who needed to be coddled. It was infuriating.
Now, after nearly a week stuck in this tin can with the Theran, home was on the horizon. I didn’t want to admit it, but my rush to get Jenna home had an ulterior motive. Once Jenna was safe, Rian might move on and the Theran would go back to whatever hole he climbed out of. Over the long term, it would be impossible for us to form a pod as we were.
Part of me was cut up at the idea of losing Rian again. It had been like losing a part of myself when I’d heard he’d died. And it had been great having him back. But seeing him in his Theran disguise, putting his arm around my podmate, when I couldn’t, did something to me.
So, when Jenna came looking for me in the mess—alone—a day out from home, it was a sweet relief. I’d craved her presence from the moment I laid eyes on her, naked, beautiful and totally terrified. No, let’s be honest. I craved her from the moment the brother-I-wanted-gone had found her for me. Her very presence set off all kinds of weird reactions inside me.
How could I feel so out of my depth with her? I had always been confident and sure of myself. This no-man’s land was pure torture.
“Lain?” she said, coming to stand at my side as I chose a meal to reconstitute.
“Hmm?” I muttered, not looking at her.
If I looked I might touch and, so far, she hadn’t allowed that with any of us Danans. Only that bastard Theran.
“You aren’t hiding your feelings toward Charsus and Rian very well,” she accused.
“So? I’m having to fight my warrior-self every second I see him with you. Give me a break, okay? I’m trying.”
“The others are okay with them. Why can’t you be?” she asked, pushing at me until I saw red.
“The others are better at hiding their feelings than I am. I want you, Jenna. Don’t you get it? Seeing someone who’s so obviously not part of