you have offered to you, and you’re turning it down for a reason that doesn’t make sense anymore. I’m here. Maggie’s here. Kaylee won’t be alone.”
He’s making so much sense it hurts. It hurts that I’m holding myself back, and it hurts that this could affect Kaylee, but what hurts the most is knowing if I don’t take this opportunity, I will regret it.
“If you really don’t want to go back to Eleven, fine. But at least be a part of Harley’s new label. You could do so many good things with it. You brought me out of my head and made me put the music first. This is your chance to do it.”
“What about you?”
“This isn’t about me.”
“Why haven’t you been going to auditions?”
Lyric leans against the chest of drawers by my bed. “I figure Kaylee starts school in a few months. I can hold off until then.”
“I don’t want to hold you back.” But I also don’t want him to go out there and get a record deal either. If I were to take Harley up on his offer, and then Lyric got signed, we would literally never see each other.
“You’re not. It’s my choice to take a few months off so I can be with you and Kaylee.”
But he shouldn’t have to do that!
He shouldn’t have to put us first.
The idea of it makes my stomach queasy yet warm at the same time. It makes me anxious yet content. Emotions I don’t understand bubble to the surface until I’m overrun by the urge to throw myself at him while simultaneously yelling at him for sacrificing anything for me.
“Why are you doing that?”
“If I really have to tell you, you’re not only a pretty boy bander with cliché and lazy lyrics, you’re also a dumbass.”
“How … romantic?”
“I’m doing it because I want to be with you! Properly. I mean, you said I was your boyfriend, and you didn’t hide it from Harley that we’re together, or at least sleeping together. I know you hate labels, but I want one, okay? I want one with you. I want you and Kaylee to be my family, and I want to do these things together. I want to make decisions together. I want to be included. I don’t think I’ve pushed, and maybe this is too much, but fuck, Ryd—”
I wrap my arms around him and cup the back of his head, sliding my fingers into his man bun as I pull him to me.
Our mouths crash together in an ungraceful mash of teeth and tongues and lips.
He tries to laugh, but I don’t let him.
I need to show him how much I need him and how much I want to claim him.
But I’m also scared to give him all of me, because if he leaves, he’ll take a huge chunk of me with him. I don’t want to hold him back, but he wants us to work it out together.
As a couple.
I kiss him until my lips hurt and his face is splotchy from my unshaven face.
When I pull away, we’re both breathing heavy, and we’re both hard. As much as I would love to take advantage of that right now, I need to go back downstairs and give Harley my answer.
“There’s one label I’m okay with having.”
“Yeah?” he breathes.
“Yours. I’m more than okay with being yours.”
The smile that lights up Lyric’s face should be on the cover of his first album.
He leans in, and my stomach flips in anticipation of his lips on mine again. Only, our mouths don’t meet.
Instead, he smacks my ass. “Good. Then let’s get downstairs and tell Harley you’re in.”
I hold his hand all the way back to the studio where Harley is waiting. I want Lyric with me because we’re in this together.
“According to my boyfriend”—I glance at Lyric and smile—“I’m not allowed to turn this opportunity down.”
Harley either doesn’t register my words or he’s having a stroke.
“Harley?”
He turns slowly toward us. “Who’s singing on this track?” He hits Play on my computer, and I’d be pissed if it wasn’t for the fact Lyric’s voice flows from the speakers along with Kaylee’s. “I assume that’s Kaylee, but unless your voice has gotten some serious rasp to it in the last two years, that’s not you.”
Lyric’s cheeks fill with color as I smile.
“Funny you should ask.”
“Ryder, don’t,” Lyric warns.
I ignore him. If he’s making me do this, he has to do it with me. “You should hear Lyric’s demo. You’ll want him to be our