another Cash to him—that he was lonely, and I was an option because of our proximity.
But something changed tonight. For both of us.
Ryder may still be unsure about how this will work and exactly what he wants, but it’s obvious he’s trying.
I know what I want from him. I want to do more of this. I want to build something from the ground up and form an actual relationship because that’s who I am. Every guy I meet, every date I’ve had, I try to imagine what we’d be like as a couple.
I learned in college that you don’t actually say that shit aloud, though. That stuff tends to scare guys off. It’s why I’ve become so wary about dating apps. They’re really fucking apps and nothing more.
Ryder’s eyes are now closed, and I assume he’s going to sleep, but the next minute, one eye pops open. “How do you sleep next to someone?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m too conscious of your body. And your breathing.”
“Sorry, I’ll stop breathing.”
Ryder laughs. “Thank you. Problem solved.”
“I still don’t know how you’ve never done this before.”
“I’ve legit only spent one night cuddled up with someone, and it was because they were going through some shit. I didn’t sleep, though.”
“With Maggie?”
He huffs. “No, actually. With someone from Eleven.”
“Ryley4Ever is real!” I get maybe a little too excited about that possibility.
“Not one bit, but it was Harley. We’re like brothers.”
“Damn.” I kiss the top of his head. “The image of you and Harley together is hot as fuck.”
“Really? But we’re so lame and lazy and—”
“God, I hate you,” I mutter. “Besides, admitting Harley is gorgeous is not exactly complimenting you on your music.”
“Who’s hotter? Me or Harley?”
“Hands down no contest.” I hold him close. “Definitely Harley.”
Ryder swats my chest.
“I’m kidding. I’d choose you any day of the week.”
Ryder yawns.
“You should try to sleep. Stick to your side of the bed if you have to.”
“No, let’s do this. I can totally cuddle.”
He says that, and then he proceeds to wiggle and get more and more frustrated.
“Roll over,” I eventually grumble because now I can’t sleep.
Ryder rolls away from me, and I lay my arm over his waist.
He settles almost immediately.
“Finally,” I murmur into the back of his hair.
He releases a long breath and whispers, “Yeah, this isn’t so bad.”
When I wake, I’m surprised to find us still tangled together. We moved during the night, but I’m still spooning him. Ryder’s partially on his stomach, and my leg sits between his.
I breathe in the scent of sex and hold him a little closer. “I have bad news for you,” I mutter.
“Mm?” he says, still half-asleep.
“I think you like cuddling.”
“Eww. I’m gross.”
I laugh. “When is Kaylee coming home?”
“We didn’t set a time.” Ryder disentangles himself from me and sits on the edge of the bed. “But I guess we’d better get washed up and clean before Maggie brings her home.”
“Shower?”
For a split second I’m worried he’s going to ask me to shower in the nanny’s quarters, but when he stands, he stares over his shoulder at me and smiles.
“Coming?”
I can’t get out of bed faster.
As much as I want to play in the shower, Ryder’s all business. Apparently, getting last night’s dried cum off us is more important.
“How are you feeling this morning?” he asks as he passes me the soap.
“Sore.”
He winces. “Me too, a little.”
“Sorry,” we say at the same time.
“Totally worth it, though,” I point out.
“Definitely. My muscles are all achy.”
“Isn’t that a bad thing?”
“Not when every time I feel a twinge, I think of how I got it.” Ryder wraps his arm around me and pulls me against him.
The water beats down on us, and when he leans in to kiss me, his lips are soft, warm, and wet.
He backs us up so I’m against the cool tiles, but he doesn’t box me in. We’re both hard, but this isn’t about sex.
I break away and run my hands down his back to keep him close. “You know, I thought maybe you’d have second thoughts today.”
“Oh, I’m having second, third, fourth, and fifth thoughts, but I know I want to keep doing this.”
He kisses me again, and as much as I’d love to stay here doing this until the water runs cold, we have to be careful.
Kaylee and Maggie could come home at any minute, and I want to respect Ryder’s wishes to keep this from his daughter.
It makes sense to keep it between us for now because, if I’m being honest, I’m preparing myself for Ryder