side of her bed and making her feel much more relaxed with him. He also took complete control, and she was happy to let him. She was happy to succumb to his experience, and she was astounded by the pleasures that until this moment she’d only been able to fantasise about.
When he was spent and fell asleep, Emily lay on her side watching him. She stroked his cheek, and kissed him lightly on the lips from time to time. She knew that this would be a night that she would never forget, and she only hoped that he wouldn’t have any regrets once the sun came up.
Charlie
She’d waited for Matt to come back into the bedroom, but when she’d heard the front door slam she’d gotten up and put her dressing gown on. She felt confused, and she didn’t know what she’d done to make him react the way he had. She walked into the bathroom, put the plug in the bath, and then turned the taps on.
Charlie sat on the edge of the bath and watched it slowly fill, but when it was still half empty she took off her robe and sank into the water leaving the taps running. She hoped that the hot water would take away all of her problems, but she wasn’t optimistic. As the water continued to rise, she leant forward and turned the taps off. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them tightly, but as she sat there – naked and alone, her emotions overcame her and she rested her head on her knees and began to sob.
When Charlie finally felt ready to lift herself out of the bath, the water in it’d gone cold. She felt that her sadness had dissipated a little, but it had instead been replaced by embarrassment and anger.
She was embarrassed because she knew that she’d have to face Matt when he came home, and they’d have to address what had caused him to react the way that he had towards her. Yet as the image of him getting up and leaving her on the bed shot through her mind again, she felt mortified and she shook her head to try and chase the memory away. Had she really been that bad she panicked? She’d thought that the sex had been good, but perhaps she’d been a disappointment for him she worried.
Charlie left the bathroom and walked into the bedroom, but as she did she knew that she was feeling increasingly angry. She was angry with Matt, but equally she was angry with Maria and with herself.
She’d given her husband what she felt sure that he’d wanted for months, but this is how he’d reacted she asked herself? She’d taken a chance, and it had ended badly. Now she only wished that she hadn’t bothered, but she knew that she needed and was looking for someone other than herself to blame. She just wasn’t sure who that person should be. Maria had encouraged her to do this she thought, but then Matt had been the one who’d made her feel like she did now.
Charlie picked up her pyjamas, and the book that she was reading which was on her bedside table, and she went into the spare room. She shut the door behind her and sat down on the bed. She knew that she didn’t want to go on feeling this way. Her actions had been intended to solve their problems, not make them worse.
She had nested all of her hopes in this plan working. Yet not only had it failed, it had also dashed any hopes that she’d had that it might help restore her memory. She was tired, and she was unsure of how much more of this she could or should be expected to take. She couldn’t go on living and sleeping next to a stranger, trying to live a life that she didn’t recognise or know, and she began to feel angry again. She hated that this was what she was letting her life be. She hated that she felt alone, and increasingly lonely. She hated her life.
Charlie had seen everyone watching her, looking for signs that she was getting better. Matt continually searched her eyes and face for a connection that he’d obviously once felt with her, but the watching, the waiting, the continual anticipation of all those around her was just too much. She’d reached breaking point, and even the faint feeling of familiarity that