the palace, which was starting to feel more like a cage each day.
“I’ll need time to prepare for the journey,” he went on. “I’ll give you a list of the things you’ll need.”
“I know what I need. The laughter of the sun, the tears of the moon, and the blood of the stars.”
“Precisely,” Edan said, not detecting my sarcasm. “It takes a while to devise a plan to acquire all those things. You use the time wisely. Spin or stitch or whatever it is you need to do.”
“I don’t have anything to sew with yet…which is why I need to set out as soon as possible.”
Edan considered this. “Day after tomorrow, then,” he compromised. “I’ll seek you out with the list when I’m ready.”
* * *
• • •
True to his word, he came to find me the next day just after sunrise. I was awake and already sketching. From the slight rise in his brow, I guessed he was impressed.
“You’re up early,” he said.
“I’m always up early.”
“Here,” he said, passing me a thin piece of parchment.
“ ‘Walnuts from the kitchen,’ ” I read with surprise. “Walnuts?”
“Ask for the largest ones possible. I’ll need three—no, make that four. Read on.”
“ ‘Gloves, to be knit from spider silk—’ ”
“You’ll have to make those,” he interrupted, “first thing—the desert will be our initial stop.”
“ ‘Sturdy shoes, preferably made of leather, with sturdy laces. A carpet with some fringes, one color or two, will be sufficient.’ ” I frowned. “Why do we need a carpet?”
“The shoes and carpet, you’ll have to make too,” Edan said instead of explaining. “Guess you’ll be busy.”
“Lastly, my scissors.” I set the list down. “Can I ask you something? Why is Lady Sarnai so fixated on these enchanted dresses if she hates magic?”
“Because she doesn’t believe you can make them,” Edan said tightly. “Because she’s hoping we’ll die on the trip.” A bit more cheerfully, he added, “We’ll just have to prove her wrong, won’t we?”
“I’m not sure I believe they can be made.”
“Tell me,” Edan said, “for a girl with so much imagination, why are you so skeptical of magic?”
“I’m not skeptical. Not anymore. I just don’t trust it.”
“Disappointing,” Edan murmured. “After all the times it’s saved you.”
I heaved a sigh, feeling I owed him an explanation. “I don’t even trust the gods. Not to listen, anyway. My father prays to Amana every morning, every night. When my brothers went to war, I prayed too—to every god, then to every fairy, every spirit I could think of—to bring them back from the war safe. But Finlei and Sendo died, and Keton—” A lump rose in my throat, strangling my words. “He came home, but he may never walk again. What is there left to believe?”
“It is wishful thinking to hope the gods might listen to you.” Edan’s tone was gentle. “Just as others are naïve to think magic works miracles. It is not always so. But…” He paused, a grin forming on his lips. “But sometimes, especially at the hands of a powerful enchanter such as myself, miracles do happen. Perhaps on our journey, we will find a way to help your family.”
I thought of how Edan had healed my hand. Maybe there was some hope for Keton. And Baba.
“The journey shouldn’t take longer than two months. Which should leave you a good three weeks to make the gowns after we return.”
The idea of two months alone with Edan made me nervous. I fidgeted as if I were sitting on a pincushion. “Maybe we could join a caravan.”
“With strangers?” Edan said. “Best not to attract attention. There shouldn’t be too many bandits along the Spice Road this time of year, but we can’t take any chances. We’ll be faster on our own. So while I know you must be itching to discard your”—he looked me up and down—“your manly disguise, it might be wise to retain it a little longer.” He tilted his head, considering. “Though trading in the Samarand Passage would be easier if you were a girl.”
I folded my arms over my chest. “Why?”
“I could barter you for at least five camels,” Edan mused. “Steal you back after a few hours before the merchant makes you one of his wives.”
I balked. “There is no way—”
“Fine, stay a boy.” He hid a smile at my distress.
“I can manage,” I said stiffly. “Where are we going?”
“To three corners of the continent,” Edan said. “For sunlight, we’ll go west through the Samarand Passage into the Halakmarat Desert, then north to the border