here—her beloved home.
I’m going to miss this place.
“Have you considered maybe the paper isn’t the best place for you anymore?” Grace questions when I speak to her after a shower later that day.
“I’m just waiting on my big break,” I tell her, no longer confident in what that break might be or when it will come.
Still holding out for the future. The one that leads us into the unknown. Nana’s words haunt me.
“Let me ask you something else. You’ve always been one to chase your dreams. But how long do you chase before the dream needs to change? How long do you wait, letting all the other great stories pass you by while you’re still holding out for the big break?” Grace pauses, taking a deep breath. “Have you ever considered your best story is your life, Em? And that you aren’t really living it?”
Her words ring similar to Nana’s advice. Live for now.
“Of course I’m living my life,” I snark. I work hard for the paper. I’m focused, determined. I’ll get where I want to go someday, but the words gnaw at me.
Someday.
Someday, I’ll get the column I want.
Someday, I’ll be the girl who gets picked.
Jess said he picked you.
I dismiss the thought, telling myself it’s not the same thing, especially given he did it in response to last night. Sami squeezing herself between us was kind of intense.
“Sure, sweetie,” Grace mocks. “And how’s it really working out for you?”
“I don’t want to fight with you, Grace.” I exhale. I want my sister with me, but I understand why she can’t be. She’s off living her fairy-tale life, living her dream, unlike me.
“I don’t want to fight with you either. Take a break tonight. Isn’t there some festival coming up soon?”
“Yeah, remember Harbor Days?” I smile fondly, thinking back to the years we attended as teens and rode the carnival rides and stuffed our faces with sugary concession stand treats. We had good times here, ones I’d forgotten about until lately.
“Go uptown. Take yourself out to dinner.”
I don’t really want to go to town, but I don’t want to cook either. After we share our love with one another and hang up the phone, I decide I’ll just take a quick walk to the pizza place and grab something to go.
As I near the corner of Main Street, I see the street is blockaded and bustling with activity.
Riverwalk.
It’s a weekly street fair encouraging people in the community to gather and support the local businesses. Restaurants sell food. Stores have sales, and local services like the public library offer an area for kid’s games. There’s also a band playing cover songs. It’s more than I want to deal with, especially when the first person I see is Gabe Carpenter standing on the corner as though he’s waiting for someone.
“What are you doing here?” I ask. There’s no way for me to avoid him as he leans in for a friendly—and unwanted—hug.
“Came over to see Mom and Dad.” He slides his arm over my shoulder, which makes me uncomfortable. I didn’t come here for this. I just want some dinner.
Standing so I face an ambulance and fire truck parked for children to gather around, I instantly spot Jess.
The signature ponytail. The clench to his jaw. The denim blue eyes fixing me with a glare.
Only I match that glare as I see fluorescent orange fingernails climb his black T-shirt covered chest and a head of midnight hair lands on his shoulder. The woman next to him wraps around his body like a snake on a pole. Nothing wrong with that if that’s what he wants, right?
Only I’m shattered.
Are you freaking kidding me?
I recognize that Jess and I don’t seem to fit together in many ways, but then I think of our bodies joined as one.
Was it not as good for him?
I’m distracted from my thoughts the second I see Katie has noticed me. She’s wearing a pair of fireman boots, which come to her hips, and her smile breaks the tension inside me. Her arms flail as she attempts to walk, and I see her pitch forward.
“Katie!” I call out, and Jess goes into action, catching her before she falls to the concrete. He scoops her out of the boots with his hands under her armpits, and she kicks out for him to put her down. Once her feet are on the ground, she runs to me, wrapping her arms around my thighs.
“Hey, Katie bug,” I coo as I brush a hand