going into the church brought me back to my best memories of growing up. All those memories included Jacob, but it also included my memories. “How have I been gone for eight years, yet the town looks like it did when I left?”
“Things change,” my mother says, pulling into the parking lot. “It’s just not an apparent change.” I get out of the truck and wait for Olivia to get out of the truck and look around.
“I don’t think I’ve seen so much green in my whole life.” She smiles at me. “And not once did I hear a siren.” She puts her head back and smells the air. “And what is that fresh smell?”
“I can tell you it isn’t pollution,” I joke with her, and the three of us walk from the parking lot into the grocery store. My mother was right. Things change; they just aren’t apparent. The inside of the grocery store looks the same, but it’s not. They have a little section when you come in that has all the natural items.
“Oh, there is my section,” Olivia says, walking toward the one shelf.
I walk to my left to grab a cart, and I’m surprised that the metal carts have now been replaced with the red plastic ones. We go through the fruits and vegetables first. My mother picks up some apples, and then I grab a couple of things, putting them in the basket. We stop at the butcher counter, and the man shrieks when he sees me. “Well, I’ll be.” He smiles at me, walking over, and I recognize him except his hair is whiter now on the side, and the hair on top of his head is gone. “Ain’t you a sight for sore eyes?” he says, and I look at him. His white jacket is just like he always wears with a big white apron on in front of him with blood stains.
“Mr. Johnson.” I smile back at him. “It’s so great to see you.”
He nods. “You were very missed,” he says, looking over at my mother who stands there beaming with pride. She puts her hands around my shoulder. “Especially by that lady.”
“I know.” I look down at the brown floor. “But I’m back.”
“That’s good to hear,” he says, and then he looks at my mother, who places her order with him. “Why don’t you guys go do your shopping, and I’ll bring this to you when I’m done?”
We go through the aisles, stopping every second step as someone I know welcomes me home. I get so many hugs it feels like I’ve been gone forever. “How does it feel?” Mrs. Henderson asks, and I look at her. “To be back home. Especially after everything—”
I don’t make her finish. “It’s great to be back.” I cut her off because I don’t want to feed into the gossip mill.
“I’m sure it is, dear,” she says, patting my hand on the cart. “You just need to gain a few, and you’ll be good to go.”
“It was so nice seeing you,” my mother says with a tight smile. “See you Sunday at church.”
“See you then,” she says, pushing her cart and walking away.
“Well, that wasn’t bad.” I laugh to my mother and start to walk forward when I stop in my tracks, and I want to crawl into a hole. My mother stops next to me, not sure, and then she looks up and sees Cristine, Jacob’s mother, walking down the aisle looking around. When she finally spots us, her smile drops from her face, and in its place is a stare of death.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” she says loudly, and I look around now, wondering just how big this showdown is going to be. I see that it’s just the three of us, and I have to wonder if it’s because people know and are avoiding this aisle.
“Crissy, don’t you dare,” my mother says, stepping in front of me to shield me.
“Don’t I dare?” She pushes her cart closer to us, then she walks around and comes face-to-face with us. I hold my mother’s hand and stand beside her.
“Don’t I dare?” I say now. “Don’t I dare?” I point at myself.
“You,” she hisses and points at me. “You left without so much as a second thought. Do you know how broken you left him?” She says the last words, and I feel as if she slapped me in the face. I flinch back.
“He wasn’t the only one who was left