know, but I really think he could be different if I could get him away from all this.”
It was the greatest lie that woman had invented since the day of Creation. That a woman could truly change a man was downright laughable at worst, naïve at best. Kat dropped her hands to the cool stone wall. “I think he’s in this for the long haul, but that doesn’t mean you have to hitch a ride.”
“I might as well.”
Trepidation plunked in Kat’s stomach. “Are you . . . Has he made a declaration?”
Laughter tumbled from Ellie, startling a pair of pigeons nesting in a bush below them. “‘Declaration’? What are we, stuck in the Victorian age? No, he hasn’t asked me to marry him. Yet. But he speaks of our futures twining together.”
“And what of the future if Germany doesn’t win this war?”
“Then we’ll leave. We’ll go somewhere this war hasn’t tainted, like America.” The end of Ellie’s cigarette glowed cherry as she puffed hard. “No more strings to tie us down.”
Once again, her sister proved her lack of thought before leaping off a cliff. Kat gripped the stone rail until her fingers hurt. Sense needed to be shaken into Ellie, if not smacked. “This is a messy business, and no matter how pretty you smile or how many earls’ names you drop, you may not get out so easily.”
“What about Father’s name? Think that could pull any weight?” Acid dripped from Ellie’s tongue.
“I’m sure some, but I wouldn’t expect his grace to extend very far with Parliament, should you decide to go down with the ship.”
“If Eric’s on the ship, then that’s where I stay. That’s what you do when you’re in love. Not that you’d know.”
The barb hit Kat with over twenty years of loneliness. Raw and exposed, pain seared to the top. She turned away and opened her eyes wide for the air to dry out the surging emotion.
“Oh, Kitty Kat, I’m sorry.” Ellie touched her arm. “I didn’t mean it the way it came out. I only meant to say that you haven’t found the one yet. We have to kiss a lot of frogs before we get to the prince, right? Like that horrid Marcus Father set you up with.”
The pain ebbed, but the sting of betrayal remained. Kat blinked and turned back. “I think I’m destined for frogs.”
“I’d hardly call Barrett one. How do you know he isn’t the one? Frankly, I never thought I’d see you with someone of his class, but it suits you. He suits you. You’re different around him. Looser, softer.”
Barrett had always seemed lacking in class consciousness, never allowing himself to be subjected to one predetermined station or another. As if he existed outside the boundaries. And so she had never considered putting him in one. He was simply Barrett. Or rather, not so simply of late, with unexpected feelings twining about her heart whenever he was near. Feelings extending beyond dependence on his help for the mission and stretching into longing for his presence. Simply for him.
“He hasn’t taken his eyes off you since we’ve come over here.” Ellie practically vibrated with glee.
A thrill spun through Kat. Ridiculous. Just because he kept an eye on her didn’t mean he was admiring the view. Then again, it was Barrett. “Probably to make sure I don’t jump.”
Stubbing out her cigarette, Ellie plunked her hands on her hips. “Well, if you jump, then I jump, because you’re not leaving me alone with those bores. He can find us later down in the brambles.”
“At least that would keep him on his toes. Seems to be my problem with most men—I’m too predictable. Boring. Dutiful.”
“Not lately. Barrett’s brought out a spark in you, one I haven’t seen since we wore our hair in braids. He’s good for you.”
Kat snorted, spreading her hands wide along the rail. Good for keeping up appearances on behalf of the British government, and once that was over, life would try to slip back to mundane normal. She could never go back to that ignorant existence. Not after today.
She shook off her serious thoughts. “Yes, I’m sure Mama and Father would flip for joy if I brought him round for dinner. A Scot with a talent for slinging drinks and back-alley brawls.”
“Who cares what they think? At some point we have to live our own lives for our own happiness.”
Her own life with her own happiness. Ellie made it look so easy. If only Kat could allow herself one inch