dirty work of your confession for you. If you had any kind of honesty, you would have told me from the start instead of leading me on.”
“I was sworn not to tell you no matter how much I wanted to.”
“Lies again.”
As their voices rose higher than the humming airplane closing in, their contact, Madon, looked up from where he kept watch next to Ellie. Barrett grabbed her arm and hauled her a few feet away. Air hissed from between his teeth. “I’ve been working for the SIS just as I’ve told you. Days before you arrived in Paris I received a proposition from your father. A side job to fetch you and Ellie back to England.”
She tried prying away his fingers, but they held tight. “A paycheck too irresistible to turn down.”
“Not irresistible enough to put up with you half of the time.” A half smile curved his lip. His grip eased. “Are you really so upset that your da wanted you safe?”
She looked away as the pang of inadequacy hit her hard. “He didn’t trust me, my abilities to do the job myself, before swooping in like always.”
“Mayhap he did, but it came from a father’s love.”
She clamped her lips together as her throat ached with rising tears. She shoved the weakness down. “I suppose he threw in a few extra coins to kiss me. What else did he promise you? A seat in Parliament? Land? The pick of his finest horseflesh?”
“None of those things matter to me.”
“Then what does?”
“A ticket to start over in America. And you. Above all, you.” Grasping her face, he pressed his mouth to hers. Hard and demanding, it sought to possess her.
Oh, how she wanted it to. Her traitorous body sighed at his touch, longing for more. But the betrayal was too much for her heart to bear. She shoved him away. “The plans we made this morning belong to another lifetime. Before Eric, before the blood, before the deaths. From the beginning, you’ve made it clear that we have no place together. We should never have allowed that to change.”
“You’re right. There is nothing in this world that should keep us together. I’ve done everything I can to believe that, but I’m done lying to myself. And to you. Nothing solidifies the mind faster than a gun to the head.”
“Gun or not doesn’t change the facts. Too much separates us. All Eric did was put it in greater perspective.”
“I’m not about to acknowledge some murderous Nazi did us a favor, but coming within an instant of losing you made me realize how foolish I am to think I can extricate you from my very being.”
He reached out for her, but she stepped back as anger boiled to the surface. “It makes no difference now.”
“Why? Afraid to have a real man desire you, care for you, help shoulder the burdens you’ve too long carried by yourself?”
His heated words scorched her core, but they were no match for the burning fury shaking through her. “If I ever desire such a man, it’ll be one who comes to me of his own merit and not because he’s buried deep in my father’s pockets.”
Hardness carved his face. “I’m in no man’s pocket, not even the mighty Sir Alfred’s. It was a job offered and accepted to get you safely back to England.”
“If it was merely a job contract, then why not tell me about it before?”
The hardness dropped as if dashed in the face with cold water. Turning his shoulder to her, he plowed a hand through his hair and wrung the back of his neck. “I was afraid to.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, buckling back the fury that came too close to barreling out. “Of what?”
“This. This is exactly what I was afraid of.” He turned back to her. Desperation warred in his eyes. “You lumping me in with all those other deadbeats who have let you down before. For the first time in my life I wanted to be there for someone. For you.”
“And you were. Just as you agreed to do with my father.”
“I’m sorry I’ve kept things from you. Truly I am. But if you’re determined to retreat behind that cold wall of wounded pride every time someone shows signs of being human, then you’re going to live a lifetime alone. No one to love and no one close enough to love you back.”
Her heart screamed for her to swallow her ridiculous pride and forgive him and fall into the