A kid pretending to be an adult, without doing one thing out of my comfort zone.
Living in the shadow of the twins had become comfortable to me. Safe. It was easier to stay in the background, claiming I was the black sheep, when I wasn’t.
My head was already floating, taking the night off, as I realized logic should have no part of this. The incident just a moment ago stirred me with fervor. As if I were finally waking up, life pulsated against my throat, sliding down my body to my core, desiring another high and pushing myself out of my safety box.
My attention landed on a few girls dancing on boxes set on the stage, fully into the force of the music, letting their bodies swing and swivel to the beats, birds flying free of their cage.
I craved that.
“I mean, my choice can’t be the choice of restaurant, and for yours you make me dance in a strip club or something.”
“Guess we’ll see, won’t we?”
It wasn’t a strip club, but for me it was still forcing myself far out of my boundaries. Without overthinking, I moved across the room to the stage, climbing the steps. The group of girls moved over, pulling me up to join them.
Eyes sizzled into me. Judgment and fear nipped the back of my neck.
Don’t think, just move, I demanded myself, trying to shut off the part that was screeching for me to jump down and hide in the bathroom. I wasn’t a dancer or even someone who liked the attention on me, but for some reason, I needed to do this.
“Come on, girl.” A brunette nudged me, smiling. “Let go. It’s powerful to be up here. It’s not about them. Just you.”
Nodding, I closed my lids, blocking them out. Letting the music take me, my hips started swinging, my hands sliding down my frame, through my hair, my body dipping and moving to the beat. When I lifted my lashes, the stage lights blinded me of any faces beyond, giving me more freedom and buzz to let go.
The girl was right; something about being up here was powerful. Commanding. Sexy. A performance for an audience who could not touch.
Never in a million years would I have done this before. I was the wallflower at parties and hated clubs and was so scared and fearful of what people would think of me—strangers, friends, myself. I closed myself off because it was safe and comfortable.
By no means would this be a regular thing for me, but for one night, where no one knew who I was, in a city that oozed sex and mystery, I wanted to be free. Be another version of myself. Curving and swirling to the haunting melody, I felt the energy of the room, the seduction, the high of a lot of attention on me.
The song ended and giving a nod to my dancing companions, I jumped down, descending the steps to the floor.
“Dammnnn… you were smoking hot up there.” A blond guy touched my arm, his eyes moving hungrily over me.
“Thanks.” I smiled shyly, moving past him, searching for Smith, curious if he had been watching me.
Halfway through the room, my gaze caught on him, my legs halting.
His expression burned into me from across the room. Ferocious. Raw. Feral.
This man was everything a woman desired. A guy from a book or movie.
And I wanted him.
Damn.
Guilt balled in my stomach, but it didn’t take away the honest truth raining down on me. I wanted him like nothing I’d ever wanted before, and I couldn’t have him.
Our eyes locked on each other, everything blurring around me. I felt bare, exposed, open. And for the first time in my life, I didn’t try to hide. Hunger. Desire. Longing. The feelings weaved in and out of the music, winding around us, pulling us closer.
Something flickered in his eyes, his chest pulling in a deep breath, his feet moving until they hit mine, his massive body looming over mine. He set the drinks on a table next to me, his gaze never leaving mine.
“Not a stripper pole, but…”
“Kinsley…” Crap! His voice really was orgasm worthy. “You have no idea how amazing you looked up there… what I wanted to—” He stopped himself, pain flickering across his face, his voice going low. “Fuck.” His fingers tangled through the ends of my hair, our desire thumping at the seams.
Kins, you can’t. Not after what you know. It’s wrong.
“We went at it in his truck. I still fantasize about