a halt. Smith was ripping off his shirt, his back muscles flexing, his jeans hanging low enough to spot the dimples on his ass. His back was liked a carved piece of art. Broad muscular shoulders, gradually tapered down. He turned around, starting to lay down his bedding, his deep V-line on display.
My throat thickened. Alcohol still simmering in my blood, my body still craved a release… and it wanted it with him. How did I even look at the other guy at the bonfire? Honestly, I don’t think I did. I was using anything to make me not look at the man in front of me. Goat snuggled on the bedding Smith was trying to lay out, making it difficult.
“Hey, little man.” He chuckled. “You’re not helping.”
“Technically, you did win the first bet.” My mouth opened, words spilling out, my sanity deciding to pass out cold. I leaned against the back door of the van, my gaze meeting Smith’s. “The bed is yours.”
“You won,” his voice rumbled, goose bumps covering my skin.
“I kind of cheated.” Liquid courage spoke over the doubt and fear balling in my chest. “How about a compromise? We can share.”
He didn’t move, a nerve along his neck twitching. “Probably not a good idea.”
“Most likely my worst one ever,” I said honestly.
He swallowed. “You sure?”
Fuck, his voice could go so low it vibrated my bones.
“Yes.”
We both knew this was beyond dumb. The stupidest idea ever. Far worse than him coming with me on this trip. But no matter how idiotic, I still barreled forward, wanting him near, his rich smell coiling in the sheets and pillows.
For another beat he didn’t move, icing my veins with humiliation. He was going to call me out, turn me down… laugh.
A sound echoed in his throat that laced between my thighs. He moved forward, Goat jumping up, following him to the back of the van, leaping up on the bed. My gaze latched on to my dog, following him up, acting like it was no big deal Smith’s hand had been up my shorts earlier. We could pretend it never happened, that no line had been crossed yet.
In my sleeping shorts and a tank, I crawled under the covers, scooting all the way over to one side. Without a word, Smith tugged off his jeans, staying in his boxer-briefs. I tried to pretend I didn’t notice the huge bulge or the way my body quaked at his nearness.
Smith climbed in, taking up most of the full bed, his leg brushing mine.
“Sorry.” He jolted back.
I swallowed roughly. Shit, this was really, really stupid.
Goat settled between us at the end, peering back and forth between us, almost looking like he was smiling.
It took a moment for us to get comfortable, the silence in the air strained and awkward.
“What happened earlier?” I asked bluntly.
Smith tucked his arms under his head, staring out at the glinting night sky, several campfires still flaming around us. “The past.”
I turned on my side, tucking my hands under my head, staring at his profile. Feeling my gaze, his eyes darted over to me.
“A part of my life I’d like to forget.”
“But it won’t let you.”
He peered at me again, startled. “No.”
“Who is the woman? Is she the complication?”
He smirked, looking back out. “You could say that.”
“Did you love her?”
He exhaled, not answering for a long time. “I did.”
I couldn’t stop the stab I felt in my chest, his next words twisting in my gut.
“So much. She was the first woman I really loved. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for her. And I paid the price for that.”
“Oh.” I struggled to swallow, keeping my face blank, but he still heard the strain in my voice, turning his head. “I’ve never felt so consumed by someone.”
“Really? You never been in love?” His eyes tracked mine.
My throat growing so thick I barely got out my response. “No.”
His blue eyes studied me, as if he was seeking the truth in my answer. Feeling like he was stripping me bare, I looked away.
“What’s her name?”
“Becca,” he said softly.
My chest felt like it was strangling me, but I forced my voice to stay neutral. It felt different, she was more real. Here.
“You still love her?”
His head jerked forward, his lips pinched, the reaction feeling like enough of an answer. And against my will, I felt my eyes start to water.
“It’s complicated.”
“You’ve said.”
He turned his head to gaze at me intensely, taking in my response. “Kinsley…”
“What?”
“This can’t happen—”
“You’ve said that already too.” I knew