who lives a life or debauchery, indulging in every worldly pleasure without any apparent consequences. I’m sure you could relate.”
“The artist is the creator of beautiful things. Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault. Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope.”
He quoted from the Preface of the novel. WTF? I couldn’t help the look of shock on my face.
He leaned in close to me and said in a near whisper, “Why are you so surprised that someone, who loves to fuck around, also loves to read?”
His nearness and his breath on my neck sent a wave a heat down my body. I wanted to leap from the couch but my body wouldn’t move. It was like my own body was rebelling against my mind.
“I also love to fuck girls who love to read,” he continued. “I had a thing for English majors when I was in college. That’s why I memorized Oscar Wilde. It was a panty dropper every time. Those little book nerds were freaks in bed. Are you a freak in bed, Alexandria?”
Shit. I was in BIG TROUBLE.
“Look at me,” he demanded.
I looked into his gorgeous brown eyes and nearly melted. He leaned in close and his lips hovered over mine. I thought he was going to kiss me. I almost begged him to kiss me.
But he didn’t.
He whispered into my ear instead. “You told me you have a date Saturday night. When he kisses you, I want you to think of me. I want you to wish it was me kissing you instead of him.”
I fought to catch my breath as he got up and left my apartment.
A lone teardrop escaped down my cheek as I wondered how I was ever going to be able to kiss Daniel and not think about Eddie.
I cried myself to sleep that night thinking about how someone, who was supposed to be an expert in mental health, allowed herself to be manipulated and mind-fucked by someone like Eddie.
***
Friday was a blur. Every hour of my schedule, with the exception of lunch, was filled with new clients. Part of me thought it was a blessing, because it kept my mind off of Eddie and Daniel and the increasingly more complex situation I found myself in with two men, who couldn’t be more different.
At lunch, Daniel could sense something was off. “Is everything okay?” he asked.
“I’m just tired,” I lied. “I had some trouble sleeping last night.”
He nodded. “You should try warm milk. It really works. You can also take a few calcium supplements before you go to bed.”
“I’ll give it a try.”
“Are we still on for tomorrow night?” I could hear some apprehension in his voice.
“Of course,” I said, trying to sound enthusiastic. I really did want to go out with Daniel. I liked him and enjoyed his company. But my physical attraction to him was more of a slow burn, as opposed to the intense flames I felt with Eddie. Of course, you know the old adage, if you play with fire, you’re sure to get burned. I felt the chances of getting burned by Daniel were slim, but with Eddie they were almost assured.
“I’m really looking forward to taking you out,” Daniel said. I could see a glimmer in his eye. Here was an utterly attractive and sweet guy, who obviously liked me and yet my thoughts were still pulled to the asshole Eddie. Why?
“I’m looking forward to it, too,” I said. And it was true. A big part of me really did like Daniel. I just wished it was all of me that liked him.
***
I was up early Saturday morning after a restless night dreaming about both Daniel and Eddie. In my dream, Daniel kissed me softly and made my heart flutter but then his kisses turned more hard and intense and I realized the person I was kissing had become Eddie. It was quite disturbing.
I thought some mint tea might take my mind off of the Daniel/Eddie conundrum, at least few a little while. When I headed into the kitchen to put on the kettle, I heard strange sounds coming from Eddie’s apartment. It sounded like “yeow, yeow” followed by the patter of tiny footsteps. Eddie didn’t have a dog like Hans had suspected. He had a cat.
I ran into my bedroom, slipped on some sweatpants and a tee shirt, ran a comb through my hair then high-tailed it