that sorry excuse for a bunk they gave us.
We really have to do something about transport, or we need to find really patient enemies. It did give Vincent and me a chance to talk, though.
—Have you made any progress toward reconciliation?
—Eh…Can we do this another time? I’m sort of in the middle of something. Where are you calling me from anyway?
—Beijing. I still have a few friends here. I tried to win you a few extra days.
—I doubt you have any friends, anywhere.
—People who owe me favors are called friends. I asked them to stall Pyongyang for as long as they could.
—Seems to have worked. You know, I never knew it was this pretty.
—What is?
—Here. I’d never been to Korea, let alone to the border. I always imagined the demilitarized zone as something—I don’t know—rugged. Some half-plowed mine-filled dirt field with crooked barbed wire all over the place. This looks like a national park. There’s grass everywhere. It’s insanely green. Everything is really pretty, very well kept. I’m sure it would all explode if we walked over it, but still, pretty.
Can you hold on for a minute? I have to report in…
Yes, Alyssa. We’re entering the DMZ. We’re a little over a mile from the—what do they call it?—the MDL. I can see a checkpoint from here. I’ll go out on a limb and say they’ve seen us by now…No, nothing’s happening…Yep. I’ll let you know in a minute when we reach the border…
Are you there? I can’t keep turning my mic off. I can still hear you, but I won’t be able to respond.
—Very well. Just keep this channel open so I can hear you.
—All right. Here goes nothing…
Alyssa, I’m back. Yes, I was talking to Vincent…Things that don’t concern you. I thought you’d like to know we’re almost at the border. I can see troops about a mile away…I don’t know, I see a lot of tanks, maybe two hundred. I’m guessing that’s a brigade. Lots of infantry…
How am I supposed to know? They’re in tents. I can tell you there are no more than fifty thousand men here. They sure didn’t bring everyone. If they’re getting ready to march in, I don’t think this is where it’s happening. My guess is they’re just showing off…
You did ask for my opinion. You wanted to know how many troops there were. And since we’re supposed to be here to stop an invasion, I thought the fact that there just aren’t enough soldiers here to invade anything would be, you know, relevant.
Sure. We can walk to the border, but they can see us just fine from where we are if that’s what you’re worried about…We’re going. We’re going…
Vincent, that’s far enough. OK. We’re there. We’re right at the fence. There are about a hundred men, a couple trucks about two hundred feet from us…No, Alyssa. No one’s doing anything. They’re just staring at us…I’m telling you! No one’s shooting at us!…Where?
Oh, yeah. I see him. There’s one guy about a thousand feet to the side taking potshots at us with an AK…What do you want me to do? Yell at him? HEY YOU DOWN THERE! STOP SHOOTING AT OUR FEET! How’s that?
You’re kidding, right? I’m not walking into North Korea because of some kid with a peashooter. He’s probably just scared shitless…We can’t shoot back, Alyssa. We could squish him if he gets closer, but we can’t reach him from over here. No, Alyssa, we’re not under attack. I don’t care how much you wanna show off your new toy, there’s no imminent threat here…
Do you have bad reception over there? I said no. We’re not gonna pick a fight with fifty thousand men and an armored division for the fun of it…
—Do not cross that border. I do not care what Ms. Papantoniou is telling you. Do not cross.
—An order…Are you sure, Alyssa? It sounded more like a suggestion to me…
Fire me then! We were sent here to prevent something. Now we know it’s not happening. We need to pack our bags and go home…Vincent, turn us around. We’re out of here. Vincent?
—You cannot cross that border, do you hear me?!
—We’re not crossing that border! Vincent! Move! I’m not gonna say…What was that?…
Yes, I hear you, Alyssa. I think we’ve been shot at, for real this time…I don’t know, an RPG I think. Don’t you have cameras up there? You tell me what hit us…I don’t know where it came from—close, I think. I just saw something in the