afraid.”
“Why? If Pierce is the only one involved, we still have to know what happened. If someone else was behind it, we have find out the details. You won’t be safe until we do.”
“It was Pierce. I know it was Pierce.”
“Then why are you afraid?”
“What if Gelber was brought in because I really did have a trauma? What if I was being treated for some authentic mental disease? What if I still have it? Sometimes, I think I must be crazy.” Her voice was shaking. “I get so scared, then I’m angry. I want to strike out and hurt someone. Maybe I belong in that room on the third floor.”
“Bullshit,” Eve said flatly. “Wanting to knock someone down and trample on them is the most normal response you could have after what you’ve been through. But I don’t like that talk from you. I told Joe that I was going to give you a choice, but I’m not going to do it. You’re going with us to see Gelber, and he’s going tell us everything he knows. I’m going to let you see the weasel try to wriggle out of telling the truth; and then you’ll know it’s one big lie.”
“You truly believe that?”
“Yes, and so would you if you were thinking straight. All this uncertainty is crap. Newell wouldn’t have helped you if he hadn’t been sure that you were a victim. Joe and I wouldn’t waste our time. So it’s up to you to straighten up, stop hiding, and start going after the bad guys. This is your life, and you have a right to live it.”
Beth was silent, then suddenly chuckled. “I’m really not thinking straight, am I? You’re damn right, I’m going to live my life. You want me to go with you to see Gelber? No problem. And if I think he’s lying, I’ll slap him around.”
“Let’s not get carried away.” Eve headed for the door. “You may not need violence. Joe can usually accomplish the same effect just by being Joe.”
“Yes, I’ve never known anyone like him. He’s … larger-than-life.”
“He just twists it to suit himself.” She headed for the door. “I’ll see you at ten.”
“Eve, what’s my…” She stopped. “What’s my mother like?”
She turned to look back at Beth, but she was only a shadow in the darkness. Perhaps that was why she had waited until Eve had turned out the light. “I thought you weren’t interested.”
“I’ve changed my mind. I want to know. Is she like you?”
“No, Sandra is small and pretty and likes everything pretty around her.”
“You call her Sandra?”
“From the time I was a child. She prefers it. It makes her feel younger.”
“And that’s important to her?”
“It’s important, it’s part of how she sees herself. She’s really hard to describe. You should wait and judge yourself when you meet her.”
“You don’t want to talk about her. Don’t you like her?”
“I love her.”
“But do you like her?”
“She’s … difficult for me. We’re at different ends of the spectrum. She’s never been able to understand the way I think. There have been times when we got along very well. She loved my daughter, Bonnie.”
“But you still came out here to find me when she asked you.”
“She loves you. I don’t care what the Averys told you about her. She does love you, Beth. She loved my Bonnie, and she loves you. I couldn’t say no to her.”
“How can you say that she loved me? She gave me up.”
“You can believe me or not. That’s your choice. But if she could have, I think she would have kept you. She was a kid herself, and life was against her.”
“Did she love me as much as she loved you?”
Eve was silent. “Some people don’t have the capacity to … Love is rare for them. Maybe only a few people in a lifetime.”
“You’re saying she didn’t love you.”
“I think she tried. But she didn’t have to try with you, Beth.”
Beth was silent, then burst out, “She should have loved you. Look who you are. You deserve to—”
“Are you defending me, Beth?”
“Yes, why not? You came here to defend me. I don’t want to talk about our mother any longer.”
“Then we won’t, but don’t blame Sandra for something she couldn’t help. Just accept her affection as a gift. When this is all over, I know she’d like to meet you.”
“But I don’t want to—”
“Don’t make any hasty decisions.” Eve opened the door. “Think about it. None of us can afford to reject love in any form.