Jaxtyn. What if Einar did something to him before he came back for me? Were the tests he talked about just a distraction to get me away from him? Did he think telling Jaxtyn I was fine and that he didn’t need to worry about me would work?
It wouldn’t work. So, why did this happen? They must have done something to him too, and that thought has me petrified! I don’t dare ask about him or let on in any way that he means anything to me. If they have him locked up somewhere, that’ll only make things worse for him. But how can they even have him locked up?
Aren’t Sinth able to phase anywhere at any time? Will I be able to learn? I know the other mates were able to do it, but I’m sure it’s a learned thing. Something that after mating—and that must mean the blood sharing thing and stuff—I’d start to be able to do it. Will I be able to do it … eventually?
And what if they’ve killed Jaxtyn? Would I still be his mate?
The thoughts and questions racing through my mind send me into a tizzy as my knees buckle, and I burst into fresh tears. Resting my head on my knees, I let myself grieve for the brief moments of happiness I was given. It was wonderful. Jaxtyn was incredible. Sweet. Perfect.
The knob turning sounds almost identical to our bedroom door in Kópavogur. “Zoey?” Déjà vu settles over me at how much this is like our previous life. It’s unbelievable.
Sniffing discreetly, I struggle to my feet, calling out, “Yes?”
The door closes, and I realize Einar’s right outside the shower. Grabbing some shampoo, I dump a healthy amount on my hands, rubbing it in just as the curtain slides to the side. Einar’s tongue flicks out, coming within inches of my face as I try not to flinch.
Swallowing, I plaster on a half-smile, raising my eyebrows. “Did you need something?”
I can physically feel his eyes drop down the length of my body. “Yes, actually.” Letting the shower curtain go, I’m appalled to hear the raspy sound of him removing his clothes on the other side.
Am I shocked? No. This is his normal MO. He’ll be nice for a while even while he’s “punishing” me. Telling me he loves me and wants me and missed me, and basically trying to make me second guess why I ever left in the first place. During the first couple years, there were times he was able to make me feel guilty, as if I deserved this treatment!
It’s just that I’ve never been able to get away from him on my own. I was gone longer the last time when I was released from the hospital and ended up in Maria’s home for transitional housing, counseling, and job placement. But this … this is different.
There’s no way I can tell him I met someone. That’d go over about as well as a lead balloon!
My eyes close as I rinse my hair when I hear the curtain scrape to the side again. I can feel him looming over me as he steps inside the shower stall. Even though I don’t want to look, I know I’m going to have to.
Wiping the soap out of my eyes, I stare straight ahead, telling myself not to look down. Don’t look down, Zoey. Don’t look down—
“I’ve missed you.” Pulling my stiff body into his arms, I keep my forearms in front of me, protecting my chest. Which is a good thing since now that he’s decided to hug me, I’m all too conscious of the fact that his skin is thick and abrasive. The scales scrape against my arms and face as he cups my head and presses it against his chest. “I know that I haven’t always treated you the way you believe I should …”
What? Is this his way of saying the way he treats me is normal in his fucked up alien society? Women are beaten … restrained … collared …?
“… but I promise I’m going to make an effort to be better for you. And for Ka’trin. She needs a mother.”
Tugging away from him lightly, I look up into his strange yellowish orange eyes. Now this … this I’ve heard before. Usually the biggest apologies come when he hurts me visibly. He’d look at me and guilt would drive his apologies. I guess in hindsight, I’m lucky his alien ass can feel remorse.
Reaching for the conditioner, I try