could be. She brushed the remnant of the tear away, and spoke softly. “I feel guilty, but I don’t want to feel guilty.”
“I understand why you’d feel that way,” he said, taking his time speaking. “And I don’t want to push you into anything.”
Her eyes widened. “No. God, no. You didn’t push me. I wanted all of it. I wanted you.”
“Did it bother you, what I said? That I wanted you in every way?”
She shook her head. “No. I loved it, actually.”
“You have to know you have nothing to feel guilty about.”
“I know. I get it up here,” she said, tapping her head, then moved her hand to her heart. “But here, it’s hard. That’s the first time I’ve done a thing with anyone since…”
“I just want you to feel good. In every way. Your heart, and your body.” He ran his hand down her arm. Her gaze followed the path of his fingertips, and it registered what he’d done. He’d gone from pleasuring her to comforting her. He could do both, just as she could talk freely to him about this pendulum swing of emotions.
She took a long, deep breath, met his gaze, and made a choice. To live in the present.
“Thank you,” she said, her voice strong again. She wrapped her arms around his neck. “For that. All of it. Every part.”
A smile tugged at his mouth. He looked at his wristwatch. “We need to feed you and get you back to work. I would love to see you again, if you want,” he said.
“I want that.”
“But I don’t even know how long you’re in town for.”
“Not long. I leave tomorrow for New York.”
His smile spread. “Me, too.”
The words rang in her ears like a song.
And suddenly, she knew she wanted to live in the present with him for a little bit longer.
* * *
The Thai restaurant served them lickety-split. With her fork she twirled the noodles and took a bite of her pad Thai. She hummed as she ate. Maybe she was still high from that orgasm, or maybe it was from their plans to spend time together in New York. Quite possibly she might be feeling this way because they’d talked about what was happening, and she’d moved through it, for now.
“The pad Thai…it’s that good?”
“Maybe it is,” she said, after she finished chewing.
“Or are you grinning about something else?”
She leaned across the table as he worked his way through a shrimp dish. “You,” she said with a naughty grin. “Your tongue.”
A smile spread slowly across his handsome face, as he licked his lips. “You looking forward to getting to know that part of me?”
She nodded and took another bite, moaning around the food. “Mmm. I bet you’re spectacular at that.”
“What makes you say that?”
“The way you kiss me.”
His eyes darkened. “You have no idea how badly I want to show you other ways to kiss you.” He dropped his voice lower. “I want to kiss you until your taste is all over my lips.”
She dropped her fork. Her entire body went up in flames. He reached across the table, picked up the utensil, and handed it to her.
“Thank you,” she murmured, and she wasn’t sure if she was thanking him for the fork, or the orgasm, or the promise of more and in a new variety.
Somehow, she managed to take another bite of her noodles, but she couldn’t rein in the grin as she ate.
He laughed, wiped his napkin across his mouth, and took a drink of his water. “I like seeing you…happy. You deserve to be happy.”
Happy was one way to put it. Unlocked worked, too. That first kiss had turned the key on a closed door in her that had been shut tight since Julien had passed away. She’d shut off the woman who’d loved sex and intimacy and closeness, as if the lack of it were necessary to prove her grief.
But as soon as she’d let herself go there last night, with her own fingers, she’d become a woman unleashed. It was as if that single orgasm against her hotel room door had uncorked her. Like a ravenous, starving woman given filet and chocolate cake and fine wine, she wanted more. Wanted to gobble it all up. A second serving, a third helping, and dessert, please, too.
If she could only keep the guilt at bay. She hoped that brief encounter with it in the dressing room was her last, because she clearly had unfinished business with Michael. He’d been her first taste