the other. “Is that what they’re calling it these days? It looked like he was more than enjoying your company today in his dressing room.”
Ouch, that burned, no matter how much I wished it hadn’t.
“Alicia, I never meant for you to walk in on that, but you have to know I’m not playing a game. I like Damon — I more than like him. And I’m pretty sure he more than likes me. We’re just…seeing where things go between us.” I shrugged and met her gaze evenly.
Some of the fight went out of her then, and she slumped down onto the couch. “I know that. I suppose I’ve known it from the start. The way he looks at you — that’s special. He’s just a really good guy, you know? He’s an old-fashioned gentleman, the kind of man who’ll treat you with respect and care for you until you’re old and grey. I don’t meet a lot of men like that in my profession. It was silly to think he’d be interested in someone like me.” She paused to let out a joyless laugh. “My halo lost its shine a long, long time ago.”
I was honestly shocked by her confession and moved away from the counter, going to take a seat across from her in the living area.
“That’s not true. Good men would be lining up the block for a chance to go out with you. It’s just this business — everybody’s only out for quick, shallow connections. I’ve been burned a few times myself. You need to look outside the pool of men who work in the industry.”
She glanced at me then, considering me for a long moment. “Maybe you’re right.”
“You’re beautiful, Alicia. You can have anyone you want.”
Now one eyebrow rose, and she sighed sadly. “Obviously not anyone. Not Damon.”
For a second I didn’t know what to say. On the one hand, I wanted to tell her she probably could have him if he hadn’t met me first, but on the other it felt wrong deep in my bones to even think it. There was something in me that truly believed it was fate that Damon and I had met, and the idea of him ever going with anyone else, even in an alternate reality, made me recoil.
“If you admire Damon so much, then why are you here with Julian?” I asked, my eyes going in the direction of his bedroom to make sure the door was still shut. I wouldn’t put it past my friend to eavesdrop on this little conversation. Still, I had to ask the question. Although I may have felt some sympathy for Alicia and her inability to find a good man, I was still pissed at the idea of her using my friend.
She let out a humourless laugh. “Because I was lonely and he was available.”
Now I frowned hard, because Julian didn’t deserve to be treated like an object. Perhaps outwardly it wasn’t so obvious to see that he was a good person, but if she knew him like I did, she’d know he was more than good. Seriously, sometimes before I went to bed at night I’d think about his childhood and just silently cry for the little boy he used to be.
“Oh, don’t look at me like that, Rose,” Alicia chided. “Julian’s using me just the same as I’m using him. It’s a win-win situation. No real emotions are involved so nobody gets hurt.”
I grew stiff. “If you knew the real him you wouldn’t say that.”
Now she huffed. “That’s where you’re wrong. I know the real him all too well. The fact of the matter is that when I look at Julian, all I see is my own image reflected back, hard and world-weary and cold. I don’t want another version of me. I want someone kind, someone selfless, someone who no matter how difficult I can be at times, will still love me anyway.”
I stared at her, letting her words seep in. If that was how she thought of Julian, then she really didn’t fucking deserve him. I could’ve slapped my friend for selling himself so short. He always did that and it broke my heart. I wanted him to find someone who could see his goodness like I could. And Alicia certainly wasn’t that person; she was too wrapped up in her own wants and needs.
She rose then, picking up her handbag and coat. Her posture straightened, and then she took a few steps toward the door. I watched