go unknown. After all, if things had heated up between the two of them, then it would only make me feel worse. On the bright side, I hadn’t thought about Blake in almost twenty-four hours. There was always a silver lining.
“Do you think Claire and Jamie are going to get together?” Damon asked, nudging me with his shoulder. He had no idea how appealing I found it, the simple touch.
Hitting “pause” on the iPod, I turned to face him. “If they don’t, then I’ll have a serious bone to pick with the author. I feel like I’ve been waiting forever for it to happen,” I blurted, and then glanced shyly at my lap. What was it about my obsession with romance that always made me feel embarrassed? Like it was a silly, girlish thing to obsess about. In reality, it was what we all wanted, right?
I could still remember being ten years old, sitting on my living room floor, my face so close to the TV screen it was a surprise I didn’t need glasses. Some old romance flick would be on, and I’d watch how the hero looked at the heroine, realising he loved her. I’d been fascinated by every tiny facial muscle as it moved, forming an expression I wanted to see reflected back at me one day. In my mind I called it “the look,” but I’d yet to ever receive it.
I know, I was an idealistic little fool. Still am, apparently.
I’d thought Blake had given me “the look,” but it’d all been an act. And now I was thinking about Blake again. Thanks, brain.
Damon studied me with a thoughtful expression. “What about her husband? You know, back in 1946.”
“Well, don’t you have an ear for the details,” I replied, and shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, it’s possible to marry someone and then meet your true love afterward, isn’t it? Not that I’d wish such a fate on anyone, but it is possible. I don’t feel the love between Claire and her husband like I feel it between Claire and Jamie. Or, you know, the potential for it.”
“It’s still cheating,” said Damon.
“Shut up,” I complained, and shoved him in the arm. “I don’t want to think about that. I just want to enjoy the love, and you’re ruining it for me.”
He raised his hands in apology. “My bad. I’m in a bit of a mood today. It’s the anniversary of my mam’s passing. Talking about other things, fictional things, helps keep my mind off it.”
“Oh,” I said, inhaling a deep breath, my eyes wandering to how his hands fidgeted in his lap. The confession made my stomach flip, like it always did when Damon revealed something new about himself. “I’m sorry. We can talk about the book. I’ll even let you ruin the love for me if you want.”
That almost got a smile out of him. Almost. His lips twitched, but then nothing. This man was locked up tighter than a bank vault. “Nah, it’s okay. Far be it from me to ruin love,” he teased. His mouth still looked sad, but his teasing heartened me.
“If it’s any consolation, I know exactly how you’re feeling. I have to live this day every year, too.”
“How did your mother die?” he inquired quietly. “If you don’t mind me asking.”
I shook my head. “I don’t mind. She threw herself in front of an oncoming train.” The fact had become custom to me over the years, and I tended to forget just how awful it sounded to new ears. Damon look horrified. “Wow, this conversation just took a turn for the morbid,” I went on, apologetic.
“Don’t be sorry. I’m the one who asked.”
“She, um, she was heartsick over Elijah. You remember the man I told you about? The one she’d been having a polyamorous relationship with?”
Damon nodded, his dark eyes intent on me.
“Well, everything was great between the four of them in the beginning, but then jealousy started to rear its ugly head. My mum, Joanna, and Kimberly were all involved, but Elijah, being the only man, was sort of the focal point. After a while things got messy, and they wanted him to pick one of them. Push came to shove, and he chose Joanna. Both my mum and Julian’s were devastated. Kimberly fell into a deep depression and was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. Seems extreme, but she’d always been unhinged, even before she met Elijah. Poor Julian had a terrible time of it growing up. Then there