His posture remained rigid, his demeanour distant. “Are we involved, Rose?”
“Emotionally, yes,” I said, searching his gaze. “You have to feel it, too. When we’re together, the way we talk, the way you look at me, it’s more than just friendship.”
“I thought friendship was all you wanted. I thought you’d sworn off actors.”
“I had, but then you came along….”
Damon rubbed at his jaw in agitation. “When I saw him touching you, I didn’t like how it made me feel, Rose. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to bash his fucking head in.”
I gasped at his confession and stepped closer, needing to be nearer to him. “But now you know it was a mistake. None of it meant anything.”
His eyes flickered between mine, and he exhaled heavily. “You have no idea the kind of betrayal I’ve suffered in my life,” he said, so, so quiet. “For a long time I thought people only wanted me for what they could gain from it. This friendship I have with you is a big deal. I haven’t let someone into my life like I have you in years.”
His words made me catch my breath, and I closed the distance between us, placing my hand gently on his arm. “I understand, and I value your friendship more highly than anything else in my life right now.”
He cast me a pained look. “It hasn’t been very long since you were with Blake. I need to know I’m not just a rebound.”
“You’re not, I promise you, you’re not,” I hurried to tell him.
“I can tell you believe that, but maybe you don’t really understand what’s going on in your head. I think you need more time to resolve what you felt for him before moving on to anything else,” he said.
“Damon — ” I interrupted, but he cut me off.
“I know I’m being hypocritical, because you told me from the start you weren’t ready for a new relationship, but I pushed for us to get close anyway. This is more my fault than yours. I should have respected that you weren’t ready. I should have listened, but you’re just so beautiful to me, not just physically but spiritually, and I couldn’t help….”
I frowned at him now, a ball of emotion clogging my throat. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying we need some distance for a while. You need to find a balance in your heart away from Blake, because I want all of you, Rose, not a quarter or a third or a fifth. I want everything. And right now you’re not in a place to give me that. Even if you think you are, I can see that you aren’t. What I feel for you means I’m willing to go through the pain of staying away from you until you’re ready for me.”
His gaze seared into mine as his meaning sank in. He wanted me, but not right now, not until I was ready for him. But I felt ready. I felt like I was going to explode, I was so ready. The flurry and quantity of his words told me this was serious. Damon didn’t speak openly very often, nor with such passion. This meant that when he did speak, you listened. You savoured every syllable because you knew he guarded them closely, only doling them out when they truly meant something.
I had to respect his wishes. He deserved that much. To this end I gave him a firm nod and whispered a single word, “Okay.”
We shared one more meaningful glance before returning to rehearsals in silence.
Fifteen.
*Damon*
Four weeks later.
I was beginning to wonder if willpower was my greatest strength. It was a silent strength, one that didn’t make its presence known physically, but it was a strength nonetheless. The willpower I expended in staying away from Rose was monumental. Every day at rehearsals I had to resist the cord that pulled between us, begging me to get close.
When she entered a room, my eyes were drawn to her against their will. I was entranced by such little, unimportant things, like how she stretched her arms up and fixed her hair into a knot, or how she rubbed at her lower lip when she was thinking about something intently, or how she massaged the outside of her thigh when she had a stitch.
And honestly, I’d thought I was being such a mature, thoughtful grown-up when I’d suggested she take some time to find her heart again. But now, well, I