I levelled him with a serious look. “Damon saw us, you know. He was standing in the doorway.”
Something passed over Blake’s features, something that almost looked like satisfaction, but it was gone in an instant. Now his voice gentled. “I’m sorry about that, but I genuinely thought you knew it was me. Don’t you remember my touch, Rosie?”
“I wasn’t paying the right amount of attention,” I answered stiffly.
“I couldn’t believe my luck when you let me kiss you. I forgot just how good you taste. I miss you.”
“You don’t miss me, Blake. You just think you do. You’re nostalgic for me at best, and the only reason you want me is because you’re lonely and I’m here.”
He frowned and shook his head. “That’s not true.”
“It is. You’ve had to give up all your old friends, haven’t you? That’s the first part of rehabilitation, cut all the other addicts from your life. So now you’re all alone and you see me here every day, the girl who was reliable and always available when your bed was too cold to sleep in alone. Well, I’m sorry, Blake, but you lost me. I’m not trying to be cruel, and I honestly wish you all the best with overcoming your addiction, but we’re not getting back together. I can’t make it any clearer than that.”
He put his hand to his chest, inhaling a sharp breath. “Way to make a fella feel special, Rosie.”
I cast him a sympathetic look. “I just want you to know where we stand, that’s all. I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”
He eyed me for a long moment. “You’re wrong, you know.”
“Wrong about what?”
“About me just wanting you because I’m lonely. I want you because you’re beautiful and kind, and you make me laugh. I want you because hindsight’s a bitch and I can finally see all that I’ve lost. I’ve lost the only woman I ever came close to loving.”
Something stabbed at my chest, my eyes widening at his words. The sad fact of the matter was that if Blake had told me this a couple of weeks ago, I probably would’ve forgiven him for every bit of pain he’d caused. I was a soft touch when it came to forgiveness. But not now. Now I had very real feelings for Damon, feelings far stronger than anything I’d ever felt for Blake, and I could only go forward, never back.
Right at that moment, I saw Damon turn in our direction, having just finished a conversation with Jacob. His eyes moved between Blake and me, his expression darkening again. I saw so much in his gaze: anger, betrayal, jealousy.
This day was just the worst.
“Give me another shot. I promise I won’t let you down again,” said Blake.
I turned and gave him my final statement. “I can’t do that. I’ll always care for you. Maybe that makes me naive, but it’s just how I am. I don’t want to be with you anymore. I’m sorry.”
With that I left to go use the bathroom, needing a few minutes alone. I mouthed “toilet break” at Iggy to let him know where I was going and he nodded, half distracted by something one of the cast members was saying to him.
In the bathroom I splashed some water over my face, holding my wet hand to my neck for a moment and closing my eyes, trying to find some calm. It was no use. My heart still beat double time and my gut was all twisted up.
When I stepped back out into the hallway, I came face to face with Damon. He stopped mid-stride, standing just a couple feet away from me. I couldn’t tell if he’d come in search of me or if he just needed a breather, the same as I had.
“Are you actually going to have dinner with Alicia?” I whispered. It was the first thing that popped into my head, hurt clutching at my chest at the very idea.
“What were you talking to Blake about?” he replied roughly, not answering my question.
I swallowed and rubbed at my collarbone, which was hurting for some strange reason. A physical manifestation of my emotional pain, perhaps. “I was telling him that when he came into the storage room earlier, the only reason I let him touch me was because I thought he was you. Damon, I would never, ever do anything to hurt you, and I would never be involved with two men at the