here. I didn’t want Hayden to put him in an uncomfortable position and for you to get the wrong idea.”
That’s already happening, I think, but instead, I sit back in my chair and stare at Asa as he walks towards me.
“Alright?” he asks brightly, bending down to kiss me quickly.
“I’m fine,” I say coolly.
He seems at a bit of a loss at my coolness, and worry creases his forehead. “Well, that’s good,” he finally says lamely. He brightens. “Do you want another drink?”
“Might as well.” My voice is distant, and I hate it, but I can’t help it.
He straightens up. “Okay, I’ll get one. Anyone else want one?” The rest of the table chime in drunkenly with their requests, and he looks slightly overwhelmed.
Jim stands up. “I’ll help you,” he says with a smile. “You’ll never remember all that.”
One of the older blokes on the cast laughs. “He can’t remember his bloody lines. Don’t look for fucking miracles with your drink.”
“Oh, fuck off,” Asa says and raises his middle finger to a chorus of boos.
He runs his fingers absentmindedly through my curls like he does when we lie together, as if his fingers move independently from his brain. Then he walks off, and I smile after him, the wave of love I feel for him making me forget my crossness and unsettled feelings. It all comes flooding back, however, when someone moves into Asa’s chair. The smile on my lips dies as I meet Hayden’s eyes.
“Can I help you?” I ask sharply, not even attempting to hide my hostility.
He doesn’t attempt the false smile he usually greets me with. Instead, he leans back and smiles coldly. “Asa tells me you’ve been together a year.”
I feel a flare of rage. “Did he? I didn’t realise I was a topic of conversation between the two of you.”
He shakes his head, his eyes flitting over the crowd of people at the bar. I know when he sees Asa’s broad back because his face fills with intensity. Then he turns back to me. “You don’t come up much,” he says casually. “We’ve usually got better things to talk about.”
I stare at him and then jerk as Connor, one of the younger cast members, leans over the table towards me. “We’re going to dance, Jude. Are you coming?”
I shake my head quickly, my mind tumbling. “No, thanks. I’m waiting for a drink.”
He laughs. “You sure? Might be for the best. I don’t think they’ve recovered yet from your attempt at doing a head spin.”
“My headache took ages to go,” I say sourly. “I really think Asa should have stopped me, rather than laughing like a fucking giant, bearded hyena.”
Connor smiles and claps me warmly on the shoulder. “Nah, he can’t say no to you, Jude. The sky would fall in before that happens.”
He shoots Hayden a surprisingly hostile glance, and I suddenly realise that he’s trying to get me away from him. I tip my head in thanks before he and a few others head off. When I turn back to Hayden, I find him watching Asa again. Asa’s leaning on the bar talking to the barmaid, and her face is full of laughter, the way people’s faces often are around him.
“I think you’ve got something to say to me,” I say harshly. “Now seems like a good time.”
He startles as if I’ve caught him out, but then his gaze travels over me slowly and he smiles. My stomach dips. There’s too much sly pleasure in that look to mean anything good.
He settles back into his chair and folds his arms across his chest. “I wanted to thank you.”
I’m shocked, and it shows. “What for?”
He shrugs and shoots a glance around the pub, before leaning towards me. “For keeping my place warm.”
“What the fuck?” I say slowly. “What place?”
He shakes his head. “You’re not stupid, Jude, no matter how you behave. I mean my place by Asa’s side. You’ve kept it warm.” He looks me up and down. “But now I’m back, and it’s past time for you to fuck off.”
I make a show of looking around. “I’m sorry. Have I strayed into an episode of The Twilight Zone, or have I passed out and hit my fucking head? In what universe would you be with Asa? He’s with me.” My rage is bubbling up and leaking out, but worry has been added to the mix. He’s too calm and sure.
He looks at me pityingly. “Jude, you’re a nice enough bloke.”