his curls as he takes me down his throat in one smooth motion.
“Fuck,” I grunt, and everything I meant to say is gone, swept away in a sea of red darkness and sighs.
Jude
A couple of hours later, I look around the crowded pub and smile drunkenly. I feel sated and warm all the way through, and also pleasantly pissed. This is a bar we frequent, and currently, we’re all seated at our favourite table, which is close to the huge fire and more importantly to the bar. I’ve lost track of the number of rounds we’ve had so far, and it’s probably a good job because Asa and I haven’t managed to eat yet. I’ve had a couple of packets of crisps and obviously some protein earlier.
I smile lasciviously and go to lean back against the warm sturdiness of Asa’s arm which has been draped over the back of my chair like usual. For a big Hollywood star, he’s amazingly unconcerned about what people might think. His only concern is that we’re happy, and I’m never happier than when I’m near him, feeling warmth and love and home. However, my back meets the hard wood of the chair, as, at the moment, his arm isn’t there.
I smile at Jim, who I’ve been talking to for the last half hour, only to frown as I register the extreme disapproval written all over his face. Following his gaze, I feel a cold trickle move down my spine. Asa is sitting in a chair next to Hayden, and they’re currently having a very intense conversation, their heads close together and all their attention on each other.
I stare for what feels like forever. My brain is telling me to look away, to trust Asa and not display this strange jealousy that seizes me around Hayden. My heart says fuck that because it knows that Hayden wants Asa. Asa might not have noticed, but I recognise the signs — the touch of his fingers on the back of Asa’s hand, the intent way he stares into his eyes, and the rapt, concentrated look on his face while he listens to him. I know the signs because I wrote the book on what a man in love with Asa looks like. The cold trickle threatens to become a flood, and I shake my head, trying to clear the muzziness from the drink.
I glance back at Jim and go still when I discover he’s looking at me. “It doesn’t mean anything,” he says.
I’m struck dumb for a second. It feels wrong to talk about Asa like this, to discuss him when I’m his lover, and Jim works for him. However, the drink has slackened my mouth, so I say, “That’s why you were glad I was coming, isn’t it?”
He runs his hands through his hair agitatedly. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, Jude, because Asa would never cheat on you, ever. He’s completely in love with you and never stops talking about you.”
“But Hayden’s here, and he’d have him in a heartbeat,” I say steadily.
He sighs and slumps slightly. “Yeah, that’s it. Asa doesn’t see it because he’s such a straightforward man, but Hayden isn’t, and he’s after your bloke.” He hesitates. “I feel disloyal to Asa, but I thought it over a lot, and I came to the conclusion that you should know. I wouldn’t be happy if that was my bloke and Hayden was sniffing around, and make no mistake, Hayden’s used to getting his own way.”
I turn my gaze back to Asa and Hayden. Hayden throws his head back and laughs and grabs Asa’s arm familiarly. It’s a simple gesture and one I’ve seen his friends make many times. However, when they do it, it never stirs a deep well of rage in me. Nor does it inspire the desire to grab the friend’s hand and put him through a window.
As if he senses my thoughts, Asa’s head shoots up, and his eyes catch mine. I don’t know what he sees, but it’s probably everything because Asa understands me better than anyone I’ve ever met. His expression clouds with worry, and he stands up abruptly and starts to make his way to me.
As he edges around other patrons, I turn to Jim. “Don’t worry about it,” I say quickly. “Thank you for bringing it to my attention, but I know Asa, and I know he wouldn’t do anything. Nevertheless, forewarned is forearmed, and I’m grateful.”