I sigh again because it’s not exactly the life I imagined a famous model living. Don’t get me wrong, he’s happy. He practically glows these days, and I know he loves Billy and me. But still, the doubt is always there that this won’t keep him. That he’ll grow bored and leave. I hate it, but it’s a fact, and it’s that which is making me secretly pleased to see jealousy on his face. I shamefully like that he’s worried I could leave him because fuck knows it’s nice to know I’m not alone in the feeling.
He couldn’t be more wrong to worry, though. Hayden isn’t interested in me anymore, and I’m definitely not interested in him. We’re just friends. Admittedly, we hadn’t been once. Once, we’d been more, but there had never been enough there to keep my interest when the fucking stopped. He never captivated me like Jude, never made me laugh hard and feel life fizzing through my veins. Hayden had accepted our parting with little more than a smile and a nod of acknowledgement, and we’d somehow become distant friends. I’d been pleased to see him when he’d joined the show, but that was solely because of the familiarity I feel with him.
I exhale slowly and ponder what had happened today. If what Jude says is true, and I know that he doesn’t lie, then Hayden lied. He’d looked me in the eyes and flat-out lied, and the question is why. I think uneasily of the time I’ve been spending with him lately, the late nights talking, the meals out together and the way we gravitate towards each other in a group.
I’d thought nothing of it because Hayden’s a friend. That, and my whole being is intensely and eternally tied up with the mercurial and funny man in my bed. But, as I look back on the last few weeks, I remember the casual touches Hayden’s been giving me lately, and the way he put his hand on my lower back the other night. I’d moved away instantly, but Jude might have another opinion on it.
Then I consider what I’d feel if Jude began spending time with his ex, Simon. How would I feel knowing they were eating together and talking, night after night? The wave of nausea and rage is enough to make me realise I’ve been very stupid.
“That’s a heavy sigh.”
I jerk at the sleepy, hoarse voice and turn to see him staring at me intently. “I’m sorry,” I say instantly. “You know you’re everything to me, don’t you?”
He stretches indolently in the rumpled sheets, his whole body flexing and moving sensually. “If I didn’t, the three times you’ve fucked me would have enlightened me.”
“Made love,” I correct automatically, and he smirks. I shake my head. “I’m sorry about the misunderstanding. I’ll say something to Hayden.”
“Misunderstanding,” he says thoughtfully.
I shoot him a wry look. “Yes, misunderstanding. Hayden would never do anything that malicious, babe. He likes that I’m in love.”
“Really?” His scepticism is plain.
I nod and then sigh again. “Shit.” I rub my eyes. “He’s just a friend, Jude. Once…” I pause. I should tell him that we were lovers. He will go fucking ape shit if I don’t let him know. Before I can think of a way to explain, my phone buzzes.
I reach down and grab it from the pocket of my jeans. Swiping my finger across the screen, I read the text and then take a slow, deep breath.
“Who is it?” Jude asks, shifting across the mattress and wrapping himself around me like a big, warm cat. He nuzzles into my hip bone, and I gasp as my cock instantly stiffens. “Who is it?” he asks again, rubbing his stubble against my thigh.
“Ungh,” I groan, and then shake my head to clear it. “It’s Hayden. He wants to know if we fancy meeting up for a drink later on.”
“Hmm,” he murmurs, shifting around so his curls brush my sensitive inner thighs. “You, me, and Hayden. Not my idea of a cosy threesome.”
I jerk. “No threesomes for you,” I growl.
He chuckles, the noise rumbling through my lower body like an echo chamber. “Will the rest of the crew be there? We should go.”
He reaches out, running his pink tongue along the length of my cock, and he blows cool air after it. I shudder and fall back against the sheets, my legs open so he can lie between them. “Not yet,” I groan and then fist