at the thought.
Dušan drags me into his arms and holds me in his strong embrace. I sense the quickening of his heartbeat, and there’s no denial I’ve touched a nerve.
“You’re letting fear control you,” he explains.
His words infuriate me because he’s not listening to me. “That’s not true.” I shove my hand against his chest to get away from him, but his arms are like iron and he holds me in place.
“Listen to me,” he says in a deep, authoritative voice. “Our wolves are part of us. They are our other halves. And I know it’s terrifying, but to complete your connection with her, you need to let go of the reins on at least one transformation.”
He’s insane! The thought alone terrifies me.
Unease twinges in my gut. How can he think I can ever do this? I tense up just thinking about it, let alone going through with it.
“I can’t,” I say, shaking my head again.
“You have no choice. The only way your wolf will become submissive to you is by showing her how much you trust her.”
I wrinkle my nose with confusion. “That makes no sense.”
“Yes, it does. And we’re going to do it this morning, as soon as we find a big enough herd of zombies.”
Fury blinds me, and I wrench free from his grip. “Don’t tell me what to do!” I stand toe to toe with him, a cocktail of dread and anger coiling in my chest until I can’t breathe.
His jawline clenches, and I expect him to lash out to grab me, force me into this. But that never comes. Only words. “We get one chance at the element of surprise. To save the families and innocents like Kinley and help them escape the shackles my stepbrother will impose on them. A few zombies will be taken out quickly against a pack. We need an army of them. I’m sorry you don’t like having the responsibility placed on your shoulders. Fuck, if I could, I’d take it from you in a heartbeat and bear it myself.” He leans in closer, still not touching me. “But I offer you the next best thing. Me by your side every step of the way.”
Hurt rages to the surface of my thoughts. What he says is true, but worse yet, I can’t shake the guilt that I’m too terrified to give my wolf full control.
A drop of sweat runs down my spine.
“You know I’m right,” he reminds me.
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I like it.”
He laughs, and I hate how easily he breaks through my barriers. My insides are a battleground, emotions rising in me like a storm.
“Shall we do this?” He stretches out his hand, palm side up.
I huff, exasperated. “I’ll try.”
“That’s all I ask.” He grabs my wrists and yanks me to his side. Before I can protest, his lips are on mine, and he whisks me away to another world, where I forget my worries.
It’s so unfair that he affects me this easily. I cling to him, loving the feeling that I can’t escape. Fire ignites between us when he whispers against my mouth, “Never stop believing in yourself.”
Dušan
My heart hurts.
Meira is terrified, and it kills me to push her so hard. In truth, unleashing control of our wolf happens naturally when we transform the first time. But Meira isn’t exactly a role model for following the normal wolf rules. She has a human parent. She has… or had leukemia. Her wolf refused to come out for most of her life. And then a damn tranquilizer from Mad forced her first change. Nothing here is normal.
My beautiful wolf needs to believe she can do this. And not just for the sake of the Ash Wolves pack, but for herself. If she doesn’t relent power to her wolf soon, she will never gain its trust. So her whole life she’ll battle for power during her changes rather than taking charge of her wild side.
She holds my hand as we traipse back to the cave, and I study the six undead wandering in our direction behind us. It’s incredible to see the aggression in their eyes now replaced with a haziness.
I am beyond proud of Meira and what she’s able to accomplish.
Once we emerge from the woods, Lucien and Bardhyl jerk their attention our way. They stand in the cave’s entrance. Their attention flips to the small tribe behind us.
“Fuck yes, you did it!” Lucien cheers.
Bardhyl rushes down to take Meira in his arms, lifting her off the ground.